Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML
Today, I was working out with my trainer. A question popped up in my mind, so I asked if she had to deal with fat people a lot. She then responded, "I'm working with you, aren't I?" FML
Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML
Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML
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Top comments
mathsponge 0
GahhahahhHhHa I luv ur gf... Ydi for calling a dog stupid
F___M__L 0
lmfao nice
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Comments (66)
playfuldesk 0
Girls a dogs. Whoever said all guys were....*****
M13LO 0
haha well I'm a guy to and I'm the one who said all men are dogs... well atleast all the ones I know xD (and no I'm not gay either)
glitchead 0
Me doth think the closet gay lady-man troll protest too much. and I am arresting you to confiscate your midget ****!!!
playfuldesk 0
Oh........girls are cats then
gonzolove 0
Yay! I'd rather be a cat than a dog. Dogs smell.
xerbrus 14
cats smell worse
M13LO 0
omg I am like so glad! haha I decided to say I wasn't gay before someone tried to use that excuse next
playfuldesk 0
That sounded gay you silly goose
tabbycat 0
That's the clever female mind at work. :)
canucksrule88 0
oh yes because you have to be so "clever" to come up with an "original" joke like that.............
playfuldesk 0
Haha women. Clever? Equal? NEVER
LMAO58 0
HELL YA AGREED
gonzolove 0
I think playfuldesk was kidding and the other dude was not.
DrunkenValor 0
Women pwn guys to be honest. If I was offered sex, I'd certainly sit like a dog.
gonzolove 0
Good boy. =]
22jrdn55 15
lmao
gc_fml 0
fake, something very similar about 4 days ago
56578 0
LMAO. You should watch "If a Man Answers" with Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee. You'll find some situations similar to the one you're in.