Love: Good boy

Good boy

By TrainedBF - 12/09/2009 12:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 735

You deserved it 47 093

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Sociopathic method

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 18:01

Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 171

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 2 887

By misTreated - 30/05/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 977

You deserved it 5 559

By mykhael - 21/08/2013 18:58 - United States - Opelousas

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 107

You deserved it 7 462

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 07/04/2020 17:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 805

You had to ask

By Bryan - 30/09/2020 17:01 - United States

Today, I was working out with my trainer. A question popped up in my mind, so I asked if she had to deal with fat people a lot. She then responded, "I'm working with you, aren't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 1 441

By btg - 06/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 231

You deserved it 3 543

Alexa, play "Meat Is Murder" by The Smiths

By meat is meat - 07/10/2019 02:07

Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 2 657

Great friends

By Need new friends - 18/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 148

Anger issues

By Flash - 25/07/2021 17:31 - India - Bangalore

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 141

mathsponge 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:31

GahhahahhHhHa I luv ur gf... Ydi for calling a dog stupid

F___M__L 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:17

lmfao nice

Comments

jmcr 27

Friday 9 November 2012 5:10

You set yourself up for that one

LUFT 12

Friday 29 March 2013 9:06

Hahaha! Want some ice for that burn?? ;P

xerbrus 14

Sunday 16 February 2014 21:48

It's easy to train someone i did an experiment in college that when the subject spoke they were slapped after a couple days they had stopped speaking

kunjac0945 21

Sunday 12 April 2015 5:41

Someone who tries to "train" and manipulate other people? That almost sounds like abuse, certainly not love at the least.

Matt Paugh 3

Friday 23 April 2021 18:17

Gives a whole new meaning to doggy style

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The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 184

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

The Top

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 048

You deserved it 3 871

Today, in order to not upset my boss's autistic son who believes he is a chef, I had to choke down food that was both burnt and undercooked in the middle, contained way too much salt, and no other seasonings at all. I’m a real chef and I could feel my taste buds dying after eating that slop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 145

Today, I received the bill for my trip to the ER months ago. Almost $1000 for a quick 2.5 hour stay, only to find out that I had bad gas from drinking far too much of the seltzer I had bought on sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 966

Today, the girl who I was in love with for almost seven years listed me on facebook as her "Brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 023

You deserved it 6 457

Today, after climbing 8 flight of stairs due to electricity outage, I got to work only to find the office locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 274

You deserved it 371

Today, I have to give some serious thought to hair extensions. Not for myself, though. My horse let her canine friend rip her tail hairs out during play, and now she has no defense against the bugs. Know any hairdressers who make house calls to horses? FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 93