Love, Health and Sex: Glory days - FML

Glory days

By Anonymous - 03/12/2023 10:00 - United States - Richmond

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 212

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Same thing different taste

Pros and cons

By Nope - 10/11/2023 12:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend only gets horny on her period. Unfortunately, she also gets extremely gassy, so I get to smell her vile farts the entire time. I think this relationship is turning me asexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 155

Gas giant

By Anonymous - 04/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend refuses to follow her doctor-mandated diet, which results in, among other things, utterly rancid gas. It's so foul that I've taken to sleeping on the couch, and I'm seriously considering hiring a prostitute so I can have sex without gagging on the stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 225

I'm an empath

By S Edhouse - 13/04/2023 22:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, and ever since my wife has gone onto birth control pills for her endometriosis, her time of the month now lasts for three weeks each month out of the four, and on the fourth week she gets pains and doesn't feel like sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 224

By Username - 09/07/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 514

You deserved it 8 169

By Jack - 30/11/2013 08:31 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Spicy

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 476

You deserved it 12 089

By Michelle - 27/12/2009 07:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 576

You deserved it 4 785

By uterus why - 01/02/2019 16:00

Spicy

Today, I have realised that since I get laid so infrequently, every time I have sex now, it kickstarts my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 204

You deserved it 322

By Anonymous - 27/07/2016 20:32

Spicy

Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 577

You deserved it 1 737

By Anonymous - 05/01/2014 01:08 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 273

You deserved it 7 011

Let's go girls!

By Anonymous - 09/08/2020 23:01

Today, someone said that women shouldn’t hate their menstrual cycles, because the hormonal changes were so "interesting". Sure, that’s the word I’d use for alternating between cramps and zits, being an insatiable nymphomaniac, and being so depressed I want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 664

You deserved it 182

Next

Top comments

nirvanatwerks 1

Monday 4 December 2023 1:57

it’s not too late to leave her cuz that’s strange bro

poltyyy 2

Monday 4 December 2023 7:13

are you sure she’s not cheating

Comments

nirvanatwerks 1

Monday 4 December 2023 1:57

it’s not too late to leave her cuz that’s strange bro

poltyyy 2

Monday 4 December 2023 7:13

are you sure she’s not cheating

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, my mom stole my holiday money because she found it “near her bag” in my kitchen and “assumed it was hers” and she must have “forgotten it was in there all this time.” I demanded it back, but she’d already spent it on hair, nails, shoes, and a date night with dad. She won’t pay me back either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 120

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 54

Today, I told my parents that I was going to stop being so hard on myself all the time. They responded by calling me a narcissist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 209

Today, after many days of messing around with wording and pictures, a huge and expensive printed card order came in to the office. I spelt the first word wrong. I can't get a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 902

You deserved it 9 859

Today, a customer at the fast-food joint I work at gave me a pitying look and asked, "How's that liberal arts degree treating ya?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 831

You deserved it 3 211

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 689

You deserved it 5 911