Intimacy: Giving and taking

Giving and taking

By patriarchal apparently - 29/06/2013 19:58 - Saint Lucia

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 190

You deserved it 9 987

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Same thing different taste

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 689

You deserved it 18 554

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 664

You deserved it 7 394

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 423

You deserved it 7 538

Double standard

By NoSexForMe - 13/07/2014 07:46 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 793

You deserved it 8 646

That escalated badly

By Anonymous - 19/03/2020 09:03

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 299

You deserved it 396

In training

By Anonymous - 13/12/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 168

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 097

You deserved it 5 532

By BadBribe - 24/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 113

You deserved it 30 169

Fragile

By HashiManGo - 02/09/2022 14:00

Today, my girlfriend's bastard ex whispered in my ear that, "she used to suck my cock with that mouth, think about that the next time she tries to kiss you." Now it's all I can picture every time she kisses me, and it's lowkey disgusting, and turns me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 1 946

By ihateveganism - 22/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Barrington

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 296

You deserved it 10 008

wootwootimahoot 10

Sunday 30 June 2013 2:18

Hypocrite.

Grand_Cookie 21

Sunday 30 June 2013 2:22

Sack up and stop doing it for her. Two can play that game.

Comments

evilonesdaughter 12

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:37

if a guy goes down on a girl a girl should go down on him. its only fair

Iguanadon 14

Tuesday 3 September 2013 2:42

As a woman I apologise on behalf of my gender, OP. Sex is about giving and receiving and she's just a selfish bitch

Chellec2013 28

Monday 9 September 2013 8:01

Same here.. Just switch the genders

jackspezzle 7

Thursday 26 December 2013 0:02

Get rid of the bitch

BekahBear777 0

Wednesday 23 April 2014 5:51

Haha ... Yeah, my boyfriend gave me a weird look when I said something about going down and I give him ******** all the time XD

wiseKat99 13

Tuesday 29 April 2014 16:36

People are unbelievable

NineeCat 32

Thursday 19 June 2014 1:00

Blow jobs are fun!! She is most definitely missing out;(

djnyloki 2

Friday 27 June 2014 10:27

I know the feeling bro ik the feeling

AcidicNerdyChick 6

Saturday 23 August 2014 1:05

It is demanding and sick but if you do it to her thats your choice quit complaining.

tigeran24 7

Friday 23 January 2015 7:52

Run

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The Top

Today, I came home for lunch. I saw a sandwich on the table with a note saying, "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I saw another note from my girlfriend next to it saying, "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step-mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 168

You deserved it 2 775

Today, I had a great leg workout at the gym. Instead of doing my cool down exercise at the end, I decided I wanted to do something more adventurous, like box jumps on one of those metal stools at the gym. Well, it turns out my body wasn’t ready for that. Now my shin is busted and swollen. This is my second week training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 1 031

The Top

Today, my manager informed me that I will not be completing my job training because I'll be transferring to a different store, and if they want me to work there, that's their problem. Today, I also found out that the new store will not accept me as a transfer unless I've already been trained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 359

You deserved it 2 442

Today, while planning for our trip next spring, my friend told me that she's decided that her mom is coming with us. It’s non-negotiable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 677

You deserved it 168

Today, and for a few days, I've been sick, vomiting, with fever from a stomach bug. I was in the middle of a figure skating competition when it happened. I had just won and was gearing up for day two. I also just lost a best friend after they asked me to throw the competition and I declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 81

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 280

You deserved it 3 488

Today, despite all my hard work persuading my retired husband to take up sensible hobbies, he now cosplays at comic book conventions, collects replica swords from films, goes paintballing once a month with men half his age, and watches two hours of Japanese anime every night before bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 1 266

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 249

You deserved it 6 880

Same thing different taste

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