Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
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Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
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Top comments
josh7279 7
Wow your son is that desperate?
Mike09220 14
Natural selection.
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Comments (126)
JMichael 25
Umm..is he retarded?
Goblin182 26
Desperate or stupid?
xxxkassixxx 8
That is the new thing. Lol xD 21st century kid problems
hobojo69 23
Like why would he even do that to be cool, I mean he wouldn't look cool when he tells everyone he got drunk off aftershave he would look like an idiot!
mythicaltimes 15
he'd only try that once
BobbieH 19
You should treat this seriously. This could be simply an episode of stupid experimentation, however it can indicate a much more serious issue. If your son is already sneaking alternative means to get drunk, he probably has issues with alcohol. You should be aware of possible drug use as well.
8born8 18
Why?!?! Just.... WHY?!?!???
anchorsaweigh003 13
parenting: you're doing it right!
buckdharma 37
You must disinKlein him or he will surely deKlein!
esigmond 2
It's your own damn fault for raising a stupid ass son