Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling confident, so I rented a cabana at the beach and put on my best swimsuit. I was at the bar when suddenly the stool gave way under me. I was drenched in Mojito and a bunch of spring breakers laughed at me, making fat jokes. I spent the rest of the day crying in the cabana. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, I woke up to 15 texts from my mom, 6 missed calls, and with no bra or shirt on in a random guy's bed. Welcome to spring break, ladies and gentleman. FML
Today, I got back from a fun vacation I took with my husband. During the vacation, I participated in a wet t-shirt contest and a bunch of pictures of me flashing my breasts and waving my t shirt over my head during the contest got posted online. My whole office is teasing me now. FML
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML
Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML
Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long skirts. I had a thong on, and while we were dancing the guy behind me stepped on my skirt. It fell to my ankles... the whole audience saw my ass. FML
Today, I went parasailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. On top of that, I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
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Top comments
OCChef 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
lollipopz8988 0
Word of advice: if your skirt is short enough for a tampon string to hang out you probably shouldn't be bending over anyway, let alone on stage. That's just slutty. Sorry but you asked for it.
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Comments (333)
zidane312 0
that has to be the worst day of your life, because not only did your friends take pictures but everyone saw it.... and probably t-pain or whatever rapper was there... lmao
ohdearestme 0
Oh Lindsey, CONGRATULATIONS something in your life sucked enough to be accepted by fmylife.com. Your life is complete! Take your trailor ass back to your Division III school and shove it.
bohgunit 0
i was just about to jerk off, and my dick got limp. FML
alex_vik 1
Kandy, do you have a vendetta against me or something? It seems wherever I go on here, you're right there, on the opposite side of my argument. And I never go to the beach when hot girls are there, because that's when the beach is so crowded that it sucks, so no, I don't know. And once again, WHEN DID I ******* SAY THAT A GIRL ON HER PERIOD WASN'T SEXY ANY OTHER TIME? I said PERIODS THEMSELVES AREN'T SEXY, not that WOMEN (well, a lot aren't, but that's irrelevant) AREN'T SEXY. Do.You.People.UNDERSTAND.Me.Now? For ***** sake.
kamikaze_fml 0
your a ******* dumb shit and you deserve this. Learn when your period is you ******* stupid ***** and be more careful. Im fairly certain your an ugly bitch and i hope you got boo'd off the stage for making all the guys dicks soft you FUGLY COW, KILL YOURSELF AND SAVE SOMEONE ELSE THE TROUBLE.
MissEmaline 0
HEY I'M IN PANAMA CITY TOO!!! for Spring Break.. we leave Saturday morning!
ivytrope 0
... why was your tampon string bloody? You should change it more often. Or DivaCup.
lecret 0
fffffffffffffffu- yea
joyride 0
Wow. That sucks.
zidane312 0
Im glad i wasnt there btw, panama city is way to packed on spring break