Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three Percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
Today, I had a minor outpatient procedure that required sedation. I am not supposed to drive or even be alone for 24 hours. My husband wouldn't take the day off to go with me, and instead of coming home from work, he is at the bar with his coworkers. FML
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML
Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, out of sheer stubbornness, my husband forced himself to go to the toilet despite severe constipation. He forced it so hard he now has a migraine and his nose won’t stop bleeding, but he won’t go see a doctor. He could have burst an artery in his brain but no, he knows better than "some doctor." FML
Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML
Today, I hurt my back at work due to faulty, outdated, and just crap equipment. Workers’ comp offered me two Tylenols and a pamphlet about "mindfulness over medical bills." FML
Today, it's been almost 24 hours since my wife bent down and couldn't get back up. After laying in bed all day in agony with a bad back, an ambulance was called. She still currently can't stand in the hospital. I have two kids to look after and am supposed to be in work tomorrow. I have no idea what to do. FML
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Top comments
ihaveasushicat 24
Hide his keys...
BigLatchZatch 14
In his pants - he'll never find them.
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Comments (94)
sigaweeds 7
Sounds like ur husband is having an awesome day
martin8337 36
What about underwear? If no drawers you're gonna have to sanitize the car seats, especially if they are leather.
blackonblight 33
Much easier with leather than cloth.
battlehamster 8
Record a video of him. Unlimited future leverage.
pharm121 21
Actually, depending on the strength, the typical prescribing method is 1-2 tabs every 4-6 hrs as needed. I work in a pharmacy...
mansen 15
The prescribing method may be 1-2 tabs every 4 to 6 hours as needed. But, you missed out completely on individual persons reaction to medication. Some people have lower or higher thresholds to narcotics and other medications, and varying dosages, due to numerous variables. So, when 1 perc may knock one person for a loop, 3 may barely make a dint in another person. So, if you took pharmacology, or anything near that, you would have been taught that.
Lily_Rain77 25
hand out the percoceds like hes a child.
mullfritt 12
Boys will be boys haha.. Reminds me of my dad, he is crazy but I love him!
jland7 2
hide his keys I'm a cop. . we will site him with a DUI.... that's just as bad as a DWI my advice is hide his keys. it's for his own good
Dccj456 9
Let me guess he's a stripper?
tattedmomma13 5
Hide the perks from him and give them to him as directed
Ohshitdude 21
could be worse.