Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three Percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
Today, I had a minor outpatient procedure that required sedation. I am not supposed to drive or even be alone for 24 hours. My husband wouldn't take the day off to go with me, and instead of coming home from work, he is at the bar with his coworkers. FML
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML
Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, out of sheer stubbornness, my husband forced himself to go to the toilet despite severe constipation. He forced it so hard he now has a migraine and his nose won’t stop bleeding, but he won’t go see a doctor. He could have burst an artery in his brain but no, he knows better than "some doctor." FML
Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML
Today, I hurt my back at work due to faulty, outdated, and just crap equipment. Workers’ comp offered me two Tylenols and a pamphlet about "mindfulness over medical bills." FML
Today, it's been almost 24 hours since my wife bent down and couldn't get back up. After laying in bed all day in agony with a bad back, an ambulance was called. She still currently can't stand in the hospital. I have two kids to look after and am supposed to be in work tomorrow. I have no idea what to do. FML
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Top comments
ihaveasushicat 24
Hide his keys...
BigLatchZatch 14
In his pants - he'll never find them.
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Comments (94)
vesuviusse 4
I know it is a pain in the ass to deal with, but get that shit on video. It will be great for a laugh later.
skittyskatbrat 19
A laugh and evidence that he really was that messed up and needs to listen to you :D
PoisonOrchid 21
Excellent plan #45. Every time they argue she can hold his poor judgment while high over his head. I don't see this leading to any resentment in their marriage at all.
sdroze1389 31
good point 58, I'm sure his demanding attitude never comes out without meds and OP never feels resentment
PoisonOrchid 21
So take the numerous examples that happen when he's not under the influence of drugs and shove them in his face instead of holding something like this over his head, which if he is as much of a demanding asshole all the time as you are assuming he is, won't mean anything to him anyway because he will know he was ****** up at the time. If there really is already this much resentment in their marriage and he is that demanding all the time, maybe they need marriage counselling, not blackmail videos. The idea of taping it is great for a good laugh (I upvoted that suggestion), but not for blackmail purposes.
sdroze1389 31
well I'm %75 with you but I would call it more evidence for a potential divorce case over calling it blackmail. my simple statement on it is that drugs didn't make him demanding and hard headed, he already was.
PoisonOrchid 21
Haha I can agree with that notion. Drugs don't cause personality traits that aren't there. They can heighten them though. I wasn't coming from the stand point that they already were having marital problems, but if she is planning to divorce him, this tape would be mighty funny in arbitration.
z3r0d4z3 22
#58 and #63 Please just go to couples therapy already.
skittyskatbrat 19
His doctor told him not to. I bet she did too. And he ignored them both and ignored the warnings. If he'd gotten out on the road someone could easily have died. Hell yes hold this over his head.... He made those decisions about overdosing and ignoring the doctor's directions before he was drugged stupid.
chrishaaansen 13
sounds like a good buzz
justlooking1967 3
Sounds like he understands his limits.
gogators941 11
Hey at least he put some clothes on.
sashazur 4
This is funny, but it's also possibly dangerous. Percocet contains acetominophen (Tylenol). Too much of that can damage your liver. The maximum safe dose for the average person is 4000 milligrams per day. Please make sure he's not taking too much, and also make sure he's avoiding other medications that also contain acetominophen (it's in a lot of over the counter flu/cold & allergy & pain medications).
DocBastard 40
Taking 3 Percocets has about the same amount of paracetamol (acetaminophen) as 2 extra-strength pills. McNeil (the maker of Tylenol) recently decreased their maximum recommended daily dosage from 4000 to 3000 mg.
dave20012 15
Hahha damn that's a good buzz.! But I hope he calmed down and realized what he'd almost done..that' woulda been an embarrassing story to hear about him showing up To work with no pants on
vikky538 29
the sign board says drive sober ..not drive with your pants on...
worldclassrager 41
Well if he had to pick up pizza there wouldn't be an issue just a thought process
abekj52 9
all that in 1 day? thats busy.
flee2321 10
Been there!!! Haha. They can't see reason. It's so frustrating.