First Dates, Allergies and Love: First date going well

First date going well

By johnfrank - 26/03/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 064

You deserved it 35 626

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By amilia - 07/11/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 353

You deserved it 331

Sounds like a win, somehow

By George - 17/09/2023 14:00

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 19:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 498

You deserved it 2 789

By well okay then - 20/05/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 296

You deserved it 4 671

By Anonycunt - 27/07/2013 16:30 - Germany - Bonn

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 312

You deserved it 4 001

Bland date

By tomtomcutiepoof - 13/03/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 243

You deserved it 7 625

By sarahh38 - 16/09/2009 18:23 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 165

You deserved it 105 504

By not even getting any of her shrimp - 11/02/2014 21:50 - United States - Draper

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 657

You deserved it 6 517

By Anonymous - 06/01/2010 01:10 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 502

You deserved it 4 025

By OMFG I LOVE MLP - 24/08/2012 21:00 - Germany - Mainz

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 928

You deserved it 3 791

platypusrex256 2

Friday 27 March 2009 0:00

thats a bit forward for a first date, don't you think?

puffingdragons 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:00

It's the guys fault. "In case I want to kiss you later." Way to come off as a Jerk.

Comments

dcapp 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:07

i agree with #3 that was a pretty forward thing to say

filthyfrith 0

Monday 3 October 2011 16:22

You really should have played it cool till you knew the situation :)

crazy_cat_lady 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:09

Haha! You tried to tell her what to do and she basically told you to screw off! That'll teach you to think you're King Shit!

ellis_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:10

judging by what you said and her reaction I'd say you're a skeeve you set yourself up for that

npk1112 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:14

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Jbomb01 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:14

should have just said im allergic and the smell might trigger me off, would have worked wonders and you still might have that kiss.

JuJuBeeSunshine 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:15

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:15

I would have ordered the shrimp too, just to be a dick, and because you said "you shouldn't." I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT BUD

lolololcheese 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:17

you should have told her not to order it without mentioning kissing.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Monday 20 January 2014 1:31

Except it's not his business what she orders...

JCM_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:17

even though what she did was kinda rude, i say you deserved it. pretty dumb to say on a 1st date

_Chocoholic_ 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:20

Ouch :S

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Transportation Cops Fight Family Kids Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Social Media Love Relationship advice Art Work Students Birds Animals Sleep Noise Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 183

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 307

You deserved it 3 970

The Top

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 741

You deserved it 6 882

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 198

You deserved it 12 747

Today, my friend who doesn’t pay bills, still lives at her parent’s rent free, and hasn't finished her Associate’s is debating what color she should order her iPhone 13 in. Meanwhile, I have a Master’s, pay an astronomical amount in mortgage and bills, and still have the iPhone 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 347

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 949

You deserved it 7 266

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 572

You deserved it 9 464

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 732

You deserved it 4 481

First date going well

Same thing different taste

Sounds like a win, somehow

Bland date

Top comments

Comments