By Anonymous - 02/09/2020 23:01
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Stop inviting them to anything, even regular visits (which I assume they're always late for as well). Hopefully your partner will be on board with whatever you decide, and that your in-laws get the hint.
if you know they always run late then why don't you tell them stuff starts earlier than it really does. And ps....I don't think your infant noticed their absence.
It's not OP's responsibility to make sure her in-laws improve their timekeeping skills. You wouldn't have expected their bosses to tell them to "be here for 8", knowing full well they'd be late, and turn up at 9 when they were supposed to. They should learn to be on time for everything, because it's not their schedule they're using, it's other peoples'. We all have shit to do, and if there's an agreement on a time to meet up, you get there as close to that time as you can. Also, this event could have been at an external location, especially if it was a Christening, so that would mean you turn up when the church schedules it, because they're most likely doing multiple events per day, and when one runs late, any that follow do, which causes problems for so many other people, and could end up ruining all of those events. Oh and P.S., the kid doesn't have to be aware that his family is around him to celebrate an event in his life. The point is his grandparents are supposed to care enough to turn up to these events, on time, because they love him, and want to be there to mark these events with him, even if he can't remember.
If they don't care enough to show up on time to anything, you don't have to care about them. Is your husband the same way, or does he shrug it off as "just a bit of fun"? After 15 years, they should know better, or your husband should have stepped up and said something. See if they change after you threaten to deny them the opportunity to see their grandchildren.
When I was a teenager, my father finally got fed up with my step-aunt always being late. So from then on, whenever inviting her to an event he started giving her an earlier time than everyone else, it worked. You could also tell your husband that you're not accommodating them anymore, if they are late to whatever function, you're starting without them.
Well I have to trick myself to arrive on time to something, I always put in my calendar an hour prior to actual time I have to be somewhere. Some people have poor time management especially those with disorders that disrupt our circadian rhythm. They probably laugh it off because they are embarrassed and don’t know how else to handle it. Before assuming they do it just to spite you, maybe consider there may be a plausible explanation, whether it be apparent or not.