Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Enticing - FML

Enticing

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 21:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 266

You deserved it 9 626

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Same thing different taste

Double standard

By NoSexForMe - 13/07/2014 07:46 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 793

You deserved it 8 645

Make your mind up!

By nextcontestant16 - 19/11/2012 15:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 551

You deserved it 5 099

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 944

You deserved it 14 580

Gimme the D

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Spicy

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 209

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 400

You deserved it 49 337

Major red flag

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom - Ashfield

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend has been super nice to me all day and I was enjoying the attention. At bedtime, he asked me if I was happy, I said yes, he asked if was I happy enough to try butt stuff. I said no, like I do every time he asks for butt stuff. He turned over and went to sleep. So much for being nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 530

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 000

You deserved it 4 667

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 724

You deserved it 5 663

So generous

By noway - 10/08/2011 17:47 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 152

You deserved it 7 101

By anon - 27/07/2015 04:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 5 938

Next

Top comments

Kamon97 23

Saturday 21 June 2014 5:36

Maybe he was really tired? :s

EdenCrystal 21

Saturday 21 June 2014 5:39

This isn't really relevant but next time he does this you should say "Fine, then can you give me one?" and see his reaction

Comments

FrankHotpants 31

Saturday 21 June 2014 5:55

It's one thing to turn it down, but a "**** no"...that's just crazy.

sexyboi1985 27

Saturday 21 June 2014 5:56

What a fucktard !

Nessco 36

Saturday 21 June 2014 5:57

A guy says no to a *******?? He should have his testosterone tested.

CougeeSwagg 19

Saturday 21 June 2014 5:58

Dafuq's his problem?!?

enriquegonzolas 15

Saturday 21 June 2014 6:01

Well there's a first for mankind.

FroggerForReal 11

Saturday 21 June 2014 6:07

I would love to hear from the OP for the flow up to understand why that really happened

cdalton 12

Saturday 21 June 2014 6:09

Do a surprise bj and wake him up. he'll love it.

91hayek 31

Saturday 21 June 2014 8:52

You need to read old FMLs about surprise blow jobs. Can be dangerous to your health or the guys ends up pissy. Can't win.

pptm 13

Saturday 21 June 2014 6:16

Feel Bad when bf Refused me :(

RhineBl 17

Saturday 21 June 2014 6:18

He is not a true man.

Greg1986 13

Saturday 21 June 2014 9:20

That is a ridiculous remark. A man's sex drive, or lack thereof, at any given moment is not what defines him as a man.

k_mysterious 7

Saturday 21 June 2014 6:24

Who would even ask..just give it...:P

interesting33 36

Saturday 21 June 2014 13:12

If you don't say no it is still not consent - it isn't consent until you've said yes.

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 265

You deserved it 14 937

Today, a lady told me I looked like Paul McCartney in his youth. With that little confidence boost, I told my girlfriend. I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that she didn't know who Paul McCartney is, or how she is now obsessively Googling pictures of him and is practically drooling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 195

The Top

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 133

Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 194

You deserved it 37 323

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 448

You deserved it 3 203

Today, my son is so rabid for Halloween this year that he decided to dress up early and do his own Incredible Hulk makeup. He used a green permanent marker he stole from school. It’s all over him from head to foot, and my carpet, sofa, bathtub, and even the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 72

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 725

You deserved it 7 679

Today, I realized that all my teammates have bigger tits than I do. I'm the only girl on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 583

You deserved it 321