By Anonymous

Early bird special

Today, despite the fact they know I'm commuting hundreds of kilometres, I was requested to come to work at the earliest possible hour, every day. I'll be waking up at half past 3 a.m. and admire sunrises on my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1509

You deserved it

204

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Sorry…

Triage

The X Factor

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11975

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52073

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By Anonymous - United States - Bell

Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17970

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1643

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By Minabee - United States

Today, I am meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In so doing, I accidentally touched the iron to my neck, and now I have a burn there that closely resembles a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31899

You deserved it

4866

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By gofixmyhead - United Kingdom

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25006

You deserved it

3970

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By Avnirvana - 7/10/2020 23:01 - United States

Fair analysis

Today, I seriously considered writing in SCP-106 for president. I hate both candidates so much, I would willingly take President Radical Larry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

369

You deserved it

708

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By Falcon - United States

Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29378

You deserved it

2806

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By anonymous - United States - Bloomington

Today, I received a birthday card from my dad, over a week late. It was addressed to me using my maiden name, the enclosed check also made out to me using my maiden name. I've been married for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15130

You deserved it

1538

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By squarecircles - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1431

You deserved it

518

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By Wounded_irony

Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3820

You deserved it

576

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45219

You deserved it

3258

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By cnamobi - United States

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35196

You deserved it

4228

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By bwoolf96

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27855

You deserved it

1851

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By bewitched and bothered - United States

Today, my boyfriend went into great detail over the Tiffany's jewelry he painstakingly selected for his previous girlfriends on their birthday. I got hand towels. In powder blue. From Target. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36400

You deserved it

2593

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Pinner

Today, as always, I'm so flat-chested and childlike in appearance that my boyfriend successfully passed me off as his little sister to save money at a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26414

You deserved it

2256

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25636

You deserved it

8812

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By smiles - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33070

You deserved it

7117

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By Anonymous

Take a number

Today, the guy I've been flirting with for a week, and would be meeting in two days, sent me a message that he wouldn't be able to text me this evening because he'll be on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1419

You deserved it

249

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By burnt - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25047

You deserved it

3330

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By Dopeydancer - United Kingdom

Today, after a few drinks with some mates at a bar, we were invited to the dancefloor with some girls. After some dancing and flirting, I felt a cheeky squeeze on my backside, and so I quickly returned the favour without looking back. A few minutes later at the bar, I realised my wallet was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36126

You deserved it

13008

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By Anonymous - 7/7/2020 23:02

Don't you know that you're toxic?

Today, I found out my girlfriend talks to around 18 other men for fun. She says she loves me more, but I told her to prove it, so I took her phone and deleted the social media accounts that she made just for these men. Now I'm a "toxic controlling monster" because I don't let her chat with random men. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1562

You deserved it

746

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By Anonymous - United States - Pensacola

Today, my parents searched my younger sister's phone because she had been acting suspiciously. I asked my mom if she was going to search mine too. She laughed and said, "Sweetie, your phone is probably even duller than mine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

23735

You deserved it

2830

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8285

You deserved it

26655

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By crazycatlady - United States - Charlotte

Rescue cat

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6352

You deserved it

816

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By Exil - United States

Today, I had to call patients that we hadn't seen in a long time. Most of them were dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25459

You deserved it

1951

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By Mack - United States

Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28521

You deserved it

8369

Favorite

By banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35361

You deserved it

11523

Favorite

By notacaveman - Netherlands

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

I agree, your life sucks

76036

You deserved it

13405

Favorite

By wmhh26

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I've been "spending too much time at the bar." I've been sober for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1757

You deserved it

125

Favorite

By ohyesIfeelspecial - United States - Portland

Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27597

You deserved it

2450

Favorite

By maya - 29/3/2021 20:01

Worst workplace ever

Today, while I was wearing a blue coat, a coworker asked me what color my coat was. Confused, I said, “...blue?” He and my other coworkers burst out screaming with laughter. Turns out he didn’t say ‘coat’ but ‘poop’. I work with a bunch of five year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

746

You deserved it

Favorite

By Maggie123 - Canada

Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33212

You deserved it

27838

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46291

You deserved it

4353

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By Anonymous

Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw I had 2 kids she wanted to know why I bothered since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3509

You deserved it

147

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By captainuniverse - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19967

You deserved it

1269

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party. No one there was under 60. I'm 16 and it was the only party I've been to all year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39105

You deserved it

7813

Favorite

By datgurllllukno - United States

Food for thought

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42125

You deserved it

5941

Favorite

By Disgusted - United States

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32154

You deserved it

10708

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By danesy - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

74054

You deserved it

3762

Favorite

By SugarCoat

Bastard Bambi busts bumper

Today, I volunteered to go get ice cream if I could use my mother's car. She told me to be VERY careful. Not ten minutes later, I hit a deer, which got up and walked off as though nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3653

You deserved it

607

Favorite

By FUCKKKS - United States

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36824

You deserved it

6055

Favorite

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Top comments

By RichardPencil | 30

#7851333 - Tuesday 15 October 2019 16:15

Why don't you take an AirBnB closer to your work when you have consecutive work days? Or crash at a co-workers house?

On the other hand, watching sunrises can be quite inspiring.

By Mungolikecandy | 19

#7851360 - Tuesday 15 October 2019 18:10

If you are commuting hundreds of kilometres every day then it may be time to either look for a place to live closer to work, find a crash pad for those days you are working, or find a new job closer to where you live now.

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7851333 - Tuesday 15 October 2019 16:15

Why don't you take an AirBnB closer to your work when you have consecutive work days? Or crash at a co-workers house?

On the other hand, watching sunrises can be quite inspiring.

By Sagar Nair | 11

#7851345 - Tuesday 15 October 2019 16:55

They requested right? They didnt say it was mandatory? Otherwise there was no need to wake up at 3am everyday.

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7851359 - Tuesday 15 October 2019 18:07

Only you can let people walk all over you. Good luck, OP!

By Mungolikecandy | 19

#7851360 - Tuesday 15 October 2019 18:10

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7851414 - Tuesday 15 October 2019 23:34

What the hell? Either relocate closer to your job, or find one closer to you. Damn...

By shannon2348 | 14

#7851457 - Wednesday 16 October 2019 7:27

I really dont think it's their problem.how far you live from work.

By kfchicken_fml | 31

#7851750 - Thursday 17 October 2019 1:20

yea you need another job or to move. travelling hours every day twice a day is a horrible idea. not the mention that's if traffic's good

By Suaria | 37

#7851757 - Thursday 17 October 2019 2:31

I was in a similar situation to you OP about a month ago. My job was an hour away without traffic from my old place. Due to traffic I had to leave my old place at 5:30 am to get there at 7 am. I just moved closer. Now I'm 10 minutes away and can leave at 6:45 am.