Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML
Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML
Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
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Top comments
blaaaaakely 0
crabs for dinner
thrice324 0
Use his toothbrush as a *****.
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Comments (88)
Peroxide 3
So thats what the sporks for. Half fork, half spoon, half ball scratcher. DO NOT QUESTION MY MATHS!
TehFuzzyOne 0
lawl. that is all i can say.
Zills 0
#18 ftw
Twi_lover_EC 6
Ewwwww! I would seriously mess my brother up if he did that!
zuuzuu_fml 0
thats discusting!!
pride90 0
disgusting as hell... man some ppl are just.. nastyyy yuckkk
mekarski1008 0
Don't ask wat the wisk is for. xD
youngmikeeee 0
Damn, what a dirtball..... CRABS anyone?
mzhonesty 0
You know, up until I came on this site, I never expected people to be this disgusting. This is why I will put all of my kitchen utensils in a locked cabinet.
danielle8D 0
thats actually not a bad idea. OP, do this and see if it helps :D
perdix 31
You Aussies eat Vegemite, so I don't know how you can tell the difference between that and your brother's smegma.
perdix 31
Yeast extract is just a euphemism for the scum that remains after beer is processed. Another euphemism: beef by-products = cow lips and assholes. Bon appetit!
Ajjas013 6
You lost me again perdix...
chasin_butterfli 0
I believe I'll skip dinner at your house.