Poopoo peepee, Gross and Health: Downhill

Downhill

By loveinanelevator - 13/02/2012 12:03

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 688

You deserved it 2 693

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Same thing different taste

Bad sandwich, bad week

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 12:02 - Korea Republic of

Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 110

Healthy lifestyle tips

By middleagednurse - 04/10/2017 23:37

Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 4 086

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 269

You deserved it 379

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 434

You deserved it 11 645

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 18/05/2022 16:00 - South Africa

Today, I had bad diarrhea. I went to the toilet seven times while my cousins came to spend time with me. I spent more time in the toilet than I did with them. Once they'd left, I went to the toilet for what would be the eighth time in a couple of hours. I now can no longer feel my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 103

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 059

You deserved it 4 592

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 12:00 - United States - Ardmore

Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 149

Bunged up

By P DarklyKira - 18/05/2020 23:00

Today, after weeks of quarantine, I can finally go to the hospital to get my haemorrhoid surgery, which was confirmed. I have a big internal one. I didn't not consult with the same doctor as before, but he didn't even do a check up inside and told me, "You have nothing, go home." I can't shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 171

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 879

By monkeywrench - 30/08/2015 11:29 - Sweden

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 965

You deserved it 1 784

haloofduty27 12

Monday 13 February 2012 15:55

Sorry man, hope you feel better soon.

Spade606 6

Monday 13 February 2012 15:56

Looks like your not doing anal anytime soon

Comments

DocBastard 38

Monday 13 February 2012 18:06

The diarrhea didn't cause the hemorrhoid - the hemorrhoid was already there. You just may not have noticed it until you started wiping your ass 45 times a day and caused it to become inflamed. If this happens again (or if anyone else has this problem), try using baby wipes. Yes, use a moist baby wipe on your adult ass. It's much less abrasive, it cleans much better, and it will help you to avoid an FML moment of your own. Unless you're that desperate to have an FML published...in that case, I would recommend using 80 grit sandpaper on your ass.

MsMeiriona 2

Tuesday 14 February 2012 9:17

Flushable baby wipes are ALWAYS in my house. It makes no sense to give up a proper clean just because you're not a baby anymore.

alicemay 5

Monday 13 February 2012 18:29

Honestly this is too funny, lol. FYL Op but I'm sure on some level you must have deserved this. Karma's a bitch : )

jgoodz 3

Monday 13 February 2012 18:35

Hopefully, that sandwich was worth it...

night_saint 5

Monday 13 February 2012 18:46

fart!

chels1994 11

Monday 13 February 2012 18:57

I was eating a sandwich when I read this... -_-

tj4234 35

Monday 13 February 2012 19:20

musta been a McDonalds sandwich...

hoonyer 17

Monday 13 February 2012 22:46

prolly, i got sick from eating their breakfast last week, at the urging of my friend and despite every fiber in my body telling me not to

bubo_fml 10

Monday 13 February 2012 20:35

Would the process be reversed if you had stuffed the tainted sandwich up yer bum? I'd prefer vomiting to an infected ring piece...

rdwhite1986 0

Monday 13 February 2012 20:55

Now that's just retarded

cjg2013 0

Monday 13 February 2012 20:58

cockmeat sandwich?

OfficeNinja 5

Monday 13 February 2012 21:03

And that Is why you never buy a sandwich out of a vending machine at the bus station - no matter how yummy it looks. Bus station sandwiches are not for eating - they are for you to argue with out loud so the rest of the passengers think you are crazy and do not try to sit next to you.