Today, in an attempt to win a political argument, I recorded myself walking into a gun store and asking which gun would be best to hypothetically deal with my neighbor's annoying kids. I now have a recording of myself being chewed out, banned for life, and perp-walked out the door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was protesting a newly-opened gun store near my house, demanding safer streets and fewer firearms. My husband and the troglodytes he works with turned up and went inside to browse. Later, he raged at me for embarrassing him in front of his buddies. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I was detained by a security guard. I heard him trying to justify detaining me to his boss and it was basically, “She was eyeballing me, so I showed her who’s boss.” I'm now banned from the shop, which is a 30 yard walk from my home. My weekly shop is now a 4 mile drive away. FML
Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
Stores around here would call the cops and hold you till they arrive. Likely they'd report you to mental health agencies.
Chazzster 32
OP, I’m sorry, but you have to be really dumb to try that in the era of “see something say something”. It’s an incredibly stupid thing to do… Your recording the conversation only demonstrated that you were trying to make the shop owner or employee look bad. I think they showed restraint in not calling the cops on you.
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Comments (14)
ass 11
If you don't like guns then don't buy one. Jackass.
mha8649 8
I hope they red flag you and prevent you from ever owning a gun. you are a moron.
dreams2383 20
I think you just won the dumbest person on earth. you are lucky you weren't arrested and put on a watch list. you deserved the cops to be called on you. what did you seriously think was going to happen? that they told you which one is better? moron.
tiptoppc 21
This is about as dumb as going into an auto parts store and buying antifreeze and casually asking how much it would take to kill the neighbor’s toddler. It’s the figurative equivalent of yelling “FIRE!men” inside a theater and thinking people won’t panic. Any hypothetical question that brings plausible danger to someone or something in a place that is controversial and can be hints of a societal threat is a real dumbass move, Try asking what the lethal dose is from a pharmacist while picking up medication. You’d see the same level of concern i’m sure.