By FML Videos - United States - New York

Vegan Love

This is the night, it's a beautiful night, and we call it bella notte...

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Late term

Walk on the wild side

Freshman blues

By anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a car on the side on the highway with a popped tire. The driver didn't have a spare, so I nicely gave them mine. One hour later my tire popped. FML

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40727

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By Robyn - Belgium - Stokkem

Today, the button on my husband's pants popped for the 4th time. I already used the strongest thread and buttons. He's obviously put on some weight around the stomach, but he won't listen to reason and still blames me for my sewing, which is making his pants "turn against him". FML

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22045

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1728

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By Boss Troubles - United States - Anaheim

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

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28752

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12318

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By ellie - Australia

Today, I got a missed call from a lady at an employment agency asking why I hadn't turned up to an information session for a potential job. Yesterday, the same lady told me the job position was canceled. FML

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30040

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By Anonymous - United States - Dearborn

Today, as always, I'd be so incredibly happy if my girlfriend loved me even half as much as she loves her cat. FML

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12051

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1863

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By ticked - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

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15523

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By Ella - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

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22350

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By zanaruka - 19/5/2020 05:00

The customer is always an ass

Today, an angry customer rubbed her hand all over my face, all while showing me her positive COVID-19 test results. FML

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2493

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140

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By Anonymous

Today, my 3-year-old niece brushed my hair, making sure to be gentle so she wouldn't hurt me. When it was time to brush the front, she made sure to meticulously brush my mustache. I'm a woman. FML

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4236

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1011

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By areyoukiddingme - United States - Phoenixville

Today, I met my boyfriend's other girlfriend. She then informed me that he has a wife, and that they have an open relationship. Thanks for keeping me in the loop, honey. FML

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28262

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2440

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while playing badminton, I was so distracted by my ex winking at me that I didn't notice the shuttle cock that hit me in the eye. FML

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9678

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21339

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By Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

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28028

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4641

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

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23708

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5934

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By Jack - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

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36878

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By vadoodoo22 - France

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

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27810

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3221

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By Karaline45

Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML

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2549

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345

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By MentalHealthWorker - 17/9/2020 02:05

True hero

Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML

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1409

You deserved it

194

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By number2 - United States

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

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44931

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By holycow - United States

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

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34632

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2605

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By seriously? - United States - Spring

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML

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30440

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By iskalion - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

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26233

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By amber - United States

Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML

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39721

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By americanized - Denmark

Today, I helped two people find the central station on my way home. As a thank you, they mugged me and stole my wallet and iPod Touch. FML

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32911

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4135

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By DarkDisaster - United States

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

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34189

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

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30696

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7797

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By Sean - United States

Today, I went to my insurance company to deal with some paperwork. One of their employees backed into my car before I made it into the building. FML

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45766

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2988

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By Crunchy - United States

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML

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20398

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By krissy - United States

Today, I found out that the sleazy guy I met with a few days ago decided to move into my home town to "be closer" to me. I've already told him I'm not interested in him, but he still continues to ask me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34752

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7095

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By HitbyIce - United States

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

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31899

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2818

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By anon - Israel

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

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35877

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By Junior - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

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56573

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By thatsillegal - United States

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

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31413

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By TT - United States

Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML

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59581

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2578

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By mhmm... cumsquats - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

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17791

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, during a major fight with my boyfriend, I threw a necklace he had given me out the window, thinking it was just a cheap trinket. He then told me, for the first time, that that necklace had belonged to his now deceased grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13936

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By Anonymous - United States - Placentia

Today, I cleaned out my house and placed multiple boxes of clothes and books in my two-seated truck to take to the Goodwill. While turning onto the highway, everything tumbled on top of me, sending me crashing into a guardrail. FML

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20508

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By firehurts - United States - Wallkill

Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML

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27171

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2709

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By hello - Jordan

Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML

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33255

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By Awkward - United States

Today, while driving on the highway, I got stuck in a traffic jam. Upon glancing over at the car in the next lane, I saw it was my ex as of a week ago. We sat in barely moving traffic right next to each other for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37724

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4285

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By login_eddy - France

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

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Top comments

By Charlie Given | 23

#7686535 - Sunday 2 September 2018 3:08

Nope we call it being hungry all the time 😋

By Gadedrengen Syddanmark | 13

#7929117 - Friday 7 August 2020 16:50

Hahaha 🤓

COMMENTS

By Charlie Given | 23

#7686535 - Sunday 2 September 2018 3:08

Nope we call it being hungry all the time 😋

By Gadedrengen Syddanmark | 13

#7929117 - Friday 7 August 2020 16:50

Hahaha 🤓