Intimacy, Sex and Cheating: Best thing to do

Best thing to do

By Jerry - 04/01/2021 10:58

Today, I walked in on my wife and my buddy from work. They didn’t even stop. I just went to a motel to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 189

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Same thing different taste

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 232

You deserved it 4 591

What's up, bro?

By WhatAMess - 06/11/2022 18:00

Today, I walked in on my wife bouncing up and down on my brother’s lap. She proceeded to throw a tantrum, crying that it was “my fault” for coming home unannounced and ruining everything. She then stormed off into our room. My brother just sheepishly pulled his pants up and left our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 917

You deserved it 176

By nekkiddrunk - 14/01/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 897

You deserved it 40 594

By furious at five in the morning - 02/07/2012 12:36 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 389

You deserved it 4 111

Mixology

By fml9124 - 22/10/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 2 477

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 113

You deserved it 5 317

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 567

You deserved it 67 657

Caught in 4K

By Frank S. - 17/06/2021 19:59

Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 1 940

You fool

By Anonymous - 25/10/2024 12:00 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, my wife and I both spent a weekend away separately with our close friends. However, we ran into each other, unplanned, at the airport. She was with her girls and I was with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 1 631

And I oop

By not drunk - 21/07/2020 08:01

Today, I was at a restaurant. I turned around looking for the restroom. I almost walked into the men’s room, then corrected myself and stumbled in the hallway looking for the ladies’. The employees thought I was drunk and kicked me out. I hadn’t had a single drink. I’m just clumsy as shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 260

Chazzster 28

Monday 4 January 2021 18:30

The magic word is “divorce”. Do it.

FireS Pitt In kitten 2

Monday 4 January 2021 20:46

we need a follow-up. did u whoop his ass? did u cuss her ass out? what happened?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 4 January 2021 12:38

How rude! They didn't even ask you to join in for a threesome? People these days!

Chazzster 28

Monday 4 January 2021 18:30

The magic word is “divorce”. Do it.

coius 23

Monday 4 January 2021 19:22

Get evidence so he can screw her back in court like she screwed him in front of his face.

FireS Pitt In kitten 2

Monday 4 January 2021 20:46

we need a follow-up. did u whoop his ass? did u cuss her ass out? what happened?

Seth Dickson 3

Monday 4 January 2021 23:23

You just allowed that? Speak up for yourself! Go to court, sell the house and move on

OrySoma 11

Tuesday 5 January 2021 5:08

that's so pathetic that i can't even feel bad for you

ghostinflames 13

Tuesday 5 January 2021 8:37

Better go to the DMV and divorce her name from the car titles too.

Magnit0 9

Saturday 16 January 2021 18:04

they didn't even bother to stop for you and you didn't disappoint them and left peaceful.

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Haircut Miscellaneous Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Technology Mental health

The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 135

You deserved it 4 975

The Top

Today, I downloaded the 'Dark was the Night' compilation made for charity. I have no soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 166

You deserved it 26 439

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to get married and have kids soon. She had a fit. Apparently it's creepy and freakish for a man to want a family, and it means I'm secretly a crazy religious fundamentalist. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 150

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 065

You deserved it 10 558

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 481

You deserved it 3 362

Today, despite getting all vaccinations and taking all precautions, I've tested positive for Covid. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 374

Today, I saw the girl my ex cheated on me with had her baby. I wrote a comment on her photo about how the baby was a product of her affair with my ex. She disabled her comments and I kept getting DM’s about how I should, "stop being so negative." Apparently infidelity is not frowned upon these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 1 771