Desperate

Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML

Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML

Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML

Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML

Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML

Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

Baby you can drive my car

Today, as usual, I work nights and sleep during the day. I found out that my brother uses my car and never puts gas in it when he called me for the first time to actually ask me if he could borrow my car, and also to lend him $20 to put gas in it. FML

Caught

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML

Property is theft

Today, my sister stole my bike and gave it to her boyfriend. When I told my parents, they said it was fine, because I wasn't using it anyway. The reason I wasn't using it was because it needed a new tire, and I was saving up for one. FML