Miscellaneous: Depressing

Depressing

By bymyself - 07/02/2011 02:05

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 651

You deserved it 3 830

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Same thing different taste

Everyone loves a weepie

By CheeseAndCrackers - 30/04/2020 08:00

Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 903

You deserved it 267

By badcook - 24/09/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 731

You deserved it 3 519

By Kamburgler - 02/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 385

You deserved it 5 720

By jenni6488 - 22/02/2012 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 23 292

By Idktbh - 18/11/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, when I finished helping a customer, she said, “Thanks cutie!” When I thanked her she giggled and said, “I just like making people smile, plus I bet you don’t get called that often!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 212

You deserved it 320

By JohhnyKeroscene - 01/02/2012 12:21 - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 222

You deserved it 2 823

By Ser17 - 10/08/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 920

You deserved it 5 897

Take the L

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 00:00

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As I was leaving, the receptionist told me to "have a nice day" and I replied, "You too, love you!" then I went back home and roasted in the embarrassment for an hour or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 205

By Lola - 20/12/2008 12:23 - France

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 548

You deserved it 8 372

By fuck you, jack - 04/03/2014 20:44 - United States - Peabody

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 245

You deserved it 3 295

Doortje 29

Monday 7 February 2011 8:51

My microwave doesn't even say that :( Be happy you have a little buddy OP.

banana_buddy 6

Monday 7 February 2011 8:50

smart microwave =)

Comments

AmandaIsMyName 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:58

LMAO!!!

someguy314159265 15

Tuesday 8 February 2011 0:32

How many microwaves exist out there that say "Enjoy your meal", or really anything other than "End"?

barberton21 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:35

mine doesn't even say end it just beeps.

Rainbowjumper0 12

Tuesday 8 February 2011 1:21

OMG I love your microwave :D

VeraJK 12

Tuesday 8 February 2011 2:41

Omg nice microwave lol

ManderPandaa12 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 3:45

That's one kind microwave. Mine just nagggs me.

XxdarkangelxX13 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 3:46

my microwave doesn't say that:(

monstersocks 5

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:29

I love when my microwave says that its so poliet lol. that sucks though. have a spectacular day (:

robinsn 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:34

Be grateful you HAVE a meal to eat.

mushysquirrel 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:47

:o what kind of food was it?!

ibetonthecubs 3

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:14

that's a pretty awesome microwave.

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The Top

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 66

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

The Top

Today, the worst part about not having a sense of smell is that I can’t tell if anyone ate pizza without me. Unless I see an empty box in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 283

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 3 445

Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 065

You deserved it 4 404

Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 744

You deserved it 10 604

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 903

You deserved it 2 148

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 407

You deserved it 1 887

Depressing

Same thing different taste

Everyone loves a weepie

Take the L

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