By Anonymous - 20/03/2013 17:38 - United States - Kalamazoo
Iceman226 tells us more.
The dates were actual dates, she knew it. We had cuddle and make-out sessions as well. After that night I talked with her on where things were going. Turns out she still has feelings for her Ex overseas (there in a complicated relationship so technically it's not even her Ex) and she was just using me because she got "lonely." I'll admit that I deserved some of what I got as I was ignorant and blinded but it still sucks. Oh, haha, she says I'm one of her best friends and she still wants to be friends. Seriously FML
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It's hard to know whether this is a YDI or not depending on circumstances. On these ten "dates", did she give you reason to believe you're more than friends? If so, then yeah, FYL.
There's not enough info to know whether the OP was just being a clueless idiot, or whether the girl knew OP wanted to date her and just used him for his money. Though I'm inclined to believe it was the former... 1. Were you accompanied by her friends on the other dates? Because that's not a date. 2. At any point during the ten dates, did you ask (or at least make it clear) that you wanted to be her boyfriend and wanted to go on dates with her. 3. At any point during the ten dates, did SHE indicate she considered them dates and treated you as anything more than a friend? 4. Did you make it clear WHY you were paying for her stuff? If you just insisted on paying without an explanation, she might have just assumed you were being a ridiculously nice friend. (Sometimes good friends will pay for their friends, especially if one of them is better-off than another.) And so on, and so forth. It just seems odd that you went on ten dates and were still unclear/confused about the status of your relationship with her. After ten dates, I'd think it would be pretty clear whether you were dating or not.
Everyone has a decent point in this thread. It's apparent she's using him for free meals. Women like her give us women, who will offer to pay half (even on a first date), and actually pay half, a bad rep! OP, please find yourself an amazing woman who isn't out for your money. I'm sorry she dragged you thru 10 dates. Imagine if that question wasn't asked? You'd probably be going on dates for months to come before you realized she's using you.
@3 Generally with friend-zone at least the other person is honest enough to let them know they don't feel that way about them and that they're just friends. People complain about being "friend-zoned" but it's much better to have a straight-forward answer about someone else's feelings than to be strung along, deceived and used like OP was. This girl's not even a friend because a friend would actually care about someone enough not to do this. Unless there's a serious misunderstanding going on, she's not even worth the term "friend-zone."
Wow, what a rude, bitchy girl. Even if you had never taken her out, how absolutely nasty of her to say that, especially in front of friends. Do yourself a favor, get some counseling and read some books on self-esteem. You should never put up with that kind of bull from anyone. You should of had the nerve to speak up and mention all the dates you had already been on and embarassed her. I give you a mental hug with a plea not to think so little of yourself anymore. Also, find a girl who is not such a nasty cow and who appreciates you.