Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML
Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
Today, when I finished helping a customer, she said, “Thanks cutie!” When I thanked her she giggled and said, “I just like making people smile, plus I bet you don’t get called that often!” FML
Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML
Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As I was leaving, the receptionist told me to "have a nice day" and I replied, "You too, love you!" then I went back home and roasted in the embarrassment for an hour or two. FML
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 29
My microwave doesn't even say that :( Be happy you have a little buddy OP.
banana_buddy 6
smart microwave =)
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Comments (81)
atomicJ 0
haha ok making sure.
uberletepoon 10
my microwave broke today so dont even complain
deerescu 1
NICE microwave!
snuff13 0
omg your lifes over because you had a bad day that's hardly worth a FML
iluvfmls456 0
Uh that's kinda the point of an fml...
thelastavailable 13
Quit your self-centred whining, OP.
xdanixx 0
That's a pretty awesome microwave! Jeal.
perdix 29
That must have been an older model that is programmed to say "Enjoy your meal" regardless of who used it. Modern microwaves have Douchebag Detection Technology and would have told you, "Get Your ******* Food Out of Me, Asshole!"
Moo_Horse 0
lol
BluePanda114 0
Whoa, i want one. :P
Bekll 31
So what OP? Do you need someone to say something nice to you every single day? Suck it up.
fudgeeocookies 10
That's cool. All my microwave does is count down.