Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous_229 - 20/02/2022 08:01 - Australia - Preston

Today, I have to make a hard decision on whether I should move on and free my boyfriend from me and let him do his own thing while I do my own, or resolve our differences. Advice needed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 527
You deserved it 305

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Feels like maybe you already know? You wrote it as "freeing" your boyfriend, which means maybe he and/or you think you're holding him back somehow? Maybe bring it to r/relationshipadvice.

Move on. You don't need conflict in your life, so get rid of it when you have the chance.

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It sounds cheesy but what does your heart tell you? That this relationship is worth continuing your effort, or that its time to move on? It sounds cold in text form but well wishes my friend

Feels like maybe you already know? You wrote it as "freeing" your boyfriend, which means maybe he and/or you think you're holding him back somehow? Maybe bring it to r/relationshipadvice.

I may be understanding you wrong, but the way you describe it sounds like maybe your boyfriend has already made his decision and maybe it’s a case of you coming to terms with the breakup? A breakup in a relationship only requires one person to decide it is over - It does not require the former partner to agree. But in human terms, both are eventually forced to recognize that things are over, regardless of if they are the one who made the initial decision or not. If I misread the situation and OP is the one actually deciding to break up or not, here are some questions to ask yourself and your partner before you make your decision: (1) Is this relationship salvageable? Every relationship goes through good and bad times. If both are willing to compromise on some things and still values the relationship then what is needed is honest two-way communication. That means listening as much as you talk. (2) What are my options realistically speaking? If I do decide to breakup then what comes next? I won’t say to stay in an unfulfilling or loveless relationship just because it’s easier than starting off on your own, but are you realistically ready to go back to dating or living with roommates? You need to think a step ahead - If you do this then what will you do next? At the least mentally prepare yourself to face the new future if you need to. (3) Deep down inside, do you love him and does he love you? Is this just a rough patch or is this relationship doomed because of incompatible personalities or values. Remember that everyone changes somewhat as they go through life’s experiences - You change, he changes. It’s as unrealistic to demand that change stop as it is to demand one person change their entire personality just to suit the other. We can and do change, sometimes for the better sometimes not. But the core of most people’s personality and values does not usually change that much except when major life-altering events require accommodation. Make a list of the things that you once liked about boyfriend and that you still like. Make a list of the negatives of staying in this relationship. Sometimes the right choice will be more apparent when you write things like this down (or put into text in your Notes or similar app on your phone or computer). I have always found that the process of organizing my thoughts into words and thoughts that can be written and read back makes my choices clearer.

Move on. You don't need conflict in your life, so get rid of it when you have the chance.

Caitlin Elizabeth Tanner 13

If you have to ask that question then I think you know the answer.

What differences are we talking about here? Do you both argue about whether the toilet paper should be over/under? Political affiliations? Does he fold the towels in a way that drives you insane? We need more to go by here...

Toilet paper goes OVER!!! Look at the original patent for toilet paper -- it was intended to go over!! Jeesh!

Ask yourself what makes you happier. Would you be happier without him or would you be happier if you stayed and things got better? Know what you want before you approach him, then ask what he wants.

Are you waiting for him to make the decision? Sounds like you already know the right answer but you don’t want to be responsible for it.

maybe talk it over with your partner and try to come to a resolution on the issue that you both may have it's the best advice I can think of.