Health: Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in...

By insomniac - 03/09/2010 23:02

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 399

You deserved it 3 457

Health

Good kid

Late term

Stop talking!

By Crashburn - 16/01/2012 11:09 - United Kingdom

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 792

You deserved it 15 365

By vickyxanne - 13/06/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 745

You deserved it 4 775

By Anonymous - 20/11/2013 21:06 - Canada - Windsor

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 818

You deserved it 5 134

By tictacnose - 08/01/2012 00:33 - Canada

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 437

You deserved it 3 194

By BX - 17/10/2015 12:09 - Netherlands

Today, I found out the hard way that if you spontaneously begin to lose weight, you may have cancer, not an increased metabolism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 971

You deserved it 1 793

By hahahehehohohoo - 07/02/2009 03:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323 361

You deserved it 58 424

By Display - 27/09/2012 04:10 - France - Paris

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 063

You deserved it 7 202

By Anonymous - 26/10/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 197

You deserved it 2 486

By photonut13 - 15/07/2010 10:52 - Canada

Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 493

You deserved it 2 991

Yada yada yada

By Anonymous - 05/09/2013 06:47 - United Kingdom - Warrington

Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 016

You deserved it 5 258

By Anonymous - 30/12/2014 04:17 - United States - Richardson

Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 955

You deserved it 3 274

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 271

You deserved it 3 824

By touched - 10/02/2009 11:30 - Philippines

Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 322

You deserved it 5 681

By GotGasNotLuck - 05/05/2015 10:50 - Australia - Girraween

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 166

You deserved it 2 234

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 271

You deserved it 18 044

By scarred for life - 21/09/2012 10:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 129

You deserved it 3 689

By Nikki - 30/05/2010 16:29 - Canada

Today, as a bridal shower gift, I got a "coupon" for 25% off divorce attorney fees. It was a collective gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 233

You deserved it 3 996

By gag reflex - 16/08/2014 16:03 - Australia - Burwood

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 928

You deserved it 9 770

By Anonymous - 21/10/2011 18:58 - United States

Today, it took me and my husband three hours to put our new book shelves together. It took our cat all of three seconds to knock it all down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 768

You deserved it 5 393

By Sarge9774 - 20/10/2016 20:35

Today, I found out that my uncle does not like my step daughter because she likes Star Wars. He stated that Star Trek was better and went on to verbally attack a 6-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 239

You deserved it 755

By michelle91 - 02/12/2009 11:36 - Malaysia

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 051

You deserved it 4 134

By muffins - 09/08/2014 13:50 - United States - Potomac

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 158

You deserved it 4 539

By thisistypical - 14/09/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 367

You deserved it 3 062

By Anonymous - 09/08/2017 13:00

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted him to be a little more masculine and dominant in the bedroom. He broke up with me because I'm not "feminist enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 072

You deserved it 1 317

By anonymous - 24/11/2015 19:38 - Switzerland - Unterageri

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 959

You deserved it 2 976

By crazystuff23 - 01/06/2009 16:44 - United States

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 599

You deserved it 5 815

What goes up…

By Anonymous - 18/06/2020 17:02

Today, I had to take my daughter to hospital because her butt swallowed her dildo. Try as I might, in the waiting area her dad and I couldn’t stop giggling at random intervals at the absurdity of the situation, so she’s probably never going to speak to us again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 090

You deserved it 294

By Khrixas_069 - 18/06/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 688

You deserved it 58 463

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 081

You deserved it 7 363

Animated movies

By Penny - 18/01/2020 20:00

Today, at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went, "Zoo, zoo... filia?" Silence. It wasn't until I got home an hour later that I realized what I said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 434

By Salzburg - 06/05/2019 12:00

Today, my sister and I got a room in the attic of an old hotel, while our parents got a room several floors down. We discovered the room was full of bugs. Our parents didn't believe us, so we brought them some as proof. They told us to get over it. We can't sleep. We've killed 50 and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 163

By Tired - 13/07/2009 13:25 - Philippines

Today, my building's elevators were temporarily out of service. I climbed up 17 flights of stairs only to realize I left my keys downstairs. After the painful climb back up, the elevator lights came on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 658

You deserved it 6 814

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 324

You deserved it 29 595

By Anonymous - 25/06/2012 15:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 688

You deserved it 2 929

Cocobananas

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 02:01

Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 112

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 281

Thicker than blood

By fat fat fat fat fat - 23/03/2021 05:01

Today, despite the fact that I’ve been battling cancer for the past year and was hospitalized for Covid, all my family can talk about is how much weight I’ve gained. Yeah, not like being out of work, quarantined and on a ton of meds has anything to do with it. Thanks guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 74

Affection breakdown

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and ended up throwing up as soon as I got home. My mother's first question was an accusatory, "What have you been drinking?" I was returning from the AA meeting I have been attending for over a month. I go because I'm afraid I'll become an alcoholic like her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 124

By kqwarrior - 27/06/2016 03:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while at the airport with a cast on my leg, I fell backwards onto my suitcase. My family was too busy to notice my squirming as I tried to get up, so a kind woman awkwardly helped me off the ground. Later on, I found out my dad saw me but thought someone would help me "soon enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 687

You deserved it 929

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Top comments

Cigar 11

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Saturday 4 September 2010 10:27

Is it really too hard to pick up some Advantage or Revolution and dose the cat? As for the house, vacuum EVERTHING and chuck the bag in the garbage outside when you're done. Buy a premise spray and don't forget to treat the baseboards, fleas love to hide there. Treat it like a lice infestation and wash everything you can in warm water if possible. If you think you're itching, imagine how the cat feels. It's probably losing fur and becoming anemic as you complain.

LiesAreBeautiful 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 19:22

Shelters are often overrun with animals, and the ones that need medical care or extra attention like this one can't be taken care of properly since most shelters don't have the funding or volunteers. And no one wants to adopt a sick animal, so she would most likely be euthanized (unless it's a no-kill shelter, which those are often full and you can't leave an animal there).

Joshua137 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:17

yeah that sucks

turtlemansam 6

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:41

Dude never feed it Kool Aid!!!!! Trust me on this. No questions asked.

scenekid1119 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:48

now I want to feed a cat cool aid

unidentified_sta 5

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Saturday 4 September 2010 10:07

Solution: Leave home so cat has extra bedrooms. Cat=happier but not giving a shit

pwincessa23 1

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Saturday 4 September 2010 10:33

kill the fckn cat & get something to kill the fleas too. I hate cats cuz I'm allergic to them

UHGG 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 15:59

lol

luigisf 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:16

well at least the bitch cares about her mistakes, I don't like cats either, I hate them...no, I abhor them. but every animal should be taken care from the carelessness of humans.

Mehness 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 17:43

24 - The cats didn't make you allergic to them, so don't hate on them that much :/ There's an allergy for everything, so if we killed everything that anyone's allergic to, then there would be nothing left :L

SMOKEWEED420420 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 18:29

CAT+KOOL AID= DEAD CAT

benny2465 0

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Sunday 5 September 2010 5:47

your sisters an idiot for hitting a cat in the first place,but she's a woman, she can't drive

Bekll 31

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Monday 6 September 2010 3:24

Stop with the women are bad drivers "joke". As for killing cats because one is allergic to them... suck it up. I'm highly allergic to cats and have lived with them all my life. It doesn't bother me.

Mirorbo 26

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:17

She didn't think to take it to a shelter or something?

LiesAreBeautiful 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 19:22

Ryzaki 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:17

that sucks..

oshi16toofly 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:20

aww I think it's great how your sid cares for the animal. you'll just have to grin and bare if.

lol_ironic_life 9

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:21

At least there isn't FYL #3: I'm also allergic to cats. On top of the insomnia from meowing and your itchiness. So it can always be worse OP, keep your chin up and be glad that the cat is staying temporarily! :-D

spanelli 16

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:25

Depending on if she wants to keep the cat or not. :o I'd feel horrible if I hit a kitty. D:

Pary_Poo 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:43

Ahhh! I hate that uncontrollable urge to scratch scratch scratch. 0:

BadasS14 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:43

Haha i bet u wish u lived in a world where cats didnt exist lol sux for man!

FuckYouDeserveIt 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:46

Well then. FYL

Arsonnist 3

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:50

Well I'm sure once you figure out this great mystery, you'll be able sleep perfectly.

iltby 3

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Saturday 4 September 2010 9:53

The cat probably belongs to someone. She should be looking for its owner.

tass919 12

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:30

if this cat has/had an owner, i doubt the owner took good care of it if the cat ended up outside to be hit by a car, and that it has fleas. so the cat is in better hands not with it's owner. to the OP - i feel sorry for you. your sister should've taken the cat to a vet or animal hospital where they can keep the cat and take better care of it. most people who attempt to "nurse" sick animals back to health end up with a dead animal anyway.