Today, I was wearing a new $500 dress on a crowded train. I looked great and I could feel the eyes on me. A cute guy then offered me his seat, only boosting my confidence more until he said "for you and the baby," pointing at a bump in my dress. I'm not pregnant and wasted $500. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML
Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML
Today, I walked into work feeling confident in my new outfit. It wasn’t until lunchtime that a colleague pointed out the price tag hanging from my skirt. I’d been flaunting my ass's price all morning. FML
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Top comments
vanadesse 0
YDI for buying a five hundred dollar dress.
vee_baby 0
Is that where you keep your ego? YDI.
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Comments (252)
platypusrex256 2
i got a $300 jacket the other day and i felt like a splurged. most expensive thing i own! but then again, it is rag & bone... $500 is not unreasonable for a woman's dress.
Aldebaran_fml 0
500 dollars dress to look pregnant!?!?!? (soory i couldn´t resist) HAHAHAHA this was funny
fueledbyamy 0
man that sucks. sorry bout that.
valuemeal2 1
Ydi because I can't for the life of me understand why you think you wasted $500... Besides the obvious fact that you bought a too-expensive dress in the first place.
leftie 0
haha, funny one, don't wear your 500$ clothes on public transport though!
Miss_Tyff 0
Wear it anyway. Don't let one person get you down! Having worked retail before, I do know that it is true that most stores have special mirrors to make the clothes look more "slimming" on you so that you will buy them.
lillyass 0
loose weight fattie.
ozymandias_fml 0
You can afford spending $500 on a dress... and ride the train? at least get a taxi! or better yet, waste less money on clothes and buy a car.
kissmeimkati 0
Keep wearing the dress, I bet you looked great. The guy sounds like an asshole; EVERYONE knows not to mention the possibility of them being pregnant to a woman unless she is in the process of giving birth. Maybe he was even just secretly trying to be an asshole for some reason... you looked like an ex, he knew the dress was expensive and was jealous/scornful, he was just a sociopath, etc. Or maybe you accidentally almost pushed him off the platform earlier and didn't realize it, and he was getting back...
rosiegrewup 0
You spent $500 on a dress but were too cheap for a taxi? Priority fail.