Today, I was wearing a new $500 dress on a crowded train. I looked great and I could feel the eyes on me. A cute guy then offered me his seat, only boosting my confidence more until he said "for you and the baby," pointing at a bump in my dress. I'm not pregnant and wasted $500. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML
Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML
Today, I walked into work feeling confident in my new outfit. It wasn’t until lunchtime that a colleague pointed out the price tag hanging from my skirt. I’d been flaunting my ass's price all morning. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
vanadesse 0
YDI for buying a five hundred dollar dress.
vee_baby 0
Is that where you keep your ego? YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (252)
aFro_fml 0
#64 you don't get to tell other people not to tell you what you can or can't do, while you're putting someone else "in their place" and OP get a dress that actually does flatter you, but this guy's a dick for saying anything about pregnancy you NEVER ask a woman if she's pregnant (or say that she is) unless you know her well it's just a lose-lose
Durf 0
Maybe you should call Jenny instead.
sensual_kidney 0
who the **** pays 500 dollars for a single article of clothing? YDI for being an idiot.
looseElephant 0
wow. $500 dress. that's a really smart decision. idiot.
Kiffer_Fadybugs 0
...why would one spend that much on a dress that wasn't a wedding dress?
marycjones 0
I would like to wear a 500 dollar dress, but yeah, before you buy it, make sure it looks good. O_O
storyteller07 0
$500!? For a dress!? That was a stupid decision.
momomoomoo 0
don't get yourself down, that guy probably thought you were cute anyway! maybe the dress wasn't flattering or maybe you were just a little bit bloated or something. who cares? everybody has their problem spots, if you thought you looked cute, don't worry about it.
gem322 0
A little much for the dress, yeah... But IMO you should NEVER assume a woman is pregnant unless she tells you she is. Or there is a baby emerging from her at that moment.
brazillianbabe 0
i am a size 6 and everytime I buy an empire waist dress people assume I am pregnant and I wear $500 dresses on the train. In NYC you can afford a $500 dress but not a car and the parking and the hassle that comes with it. Sorry I feel for you!