Today, I was wearing a new $500 dress on a crowded train. I looked great and I could feel the eyes on me. A cute guy then offered me his seat, only boosting my confidence more until he said "for you and the baby," pointing at a bump in my dress. I'm not pregnant and wasted $500. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML
Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML
Today, I walked into work feeling confident in my new outfit. It wasn’t until lunchtime that a colleague pointed out the price tag hanging from my skirt. I’d been flaunting my ass's price all morning. FML
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Top comments
vanadesse 0
YDI for buying a five hundred dollar dress.
vee_baby 0
Is that where you keep your ego? YDI.
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Comments (252)
BaldOuting 0
unless this dress is a wedding dress, i can't imagine a need for a $500 dress. especially one you think is ok to take on the train.
sammyg 0
#53 your comment was who cares, and yet you care enough to respond to my comment, your logic is mind boggling. and does someone win an award for being first cause I don't see why I would be jealous?
lowcapacityx 0
500 dollars? You could've bought 165 mini meals at mcdonalds. Or I don't know feed the hungry with that I guess.
Ilovemyself24 0
Wow!!that sucks u should of tried it out first. :)
katiekaite 0
Ha ! Oh ****. I died.
Dragonmouth 4
If you had said "I'm not pregnant," then HE would be the one here writing an FML.
RoadkillZoo 0
You deserved it, you cant look good and be fat at the same time. If your fat dont even bother getting a 500$ dress, let alone wearing it on a train. Mabey you can take it back and buy a gym membership.
YtotallyDI 0
I'm guessing it was one of those idiotic empire waist dresses. If it was, YTDI for conforming to such a stupid trend that makes most girls like pregnant. If it wasn't an empire waist dress, use that money to get a gym membership.
jdb2009 0
"For you and the baby" oh, that is too ******* funny! When was the last time you did a sit up??? HAHAHA! To think, you could have spent that money on a good gym account at a nice club, but noooooooooo, someone just had to get an expensive dress that they obviously don't look good in. Beautiful.
evg_fml 0
bugagaga!