Kids, Creepy and Spooky: Creepy

Creepy

By Justinthebox - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 559

You deserved it 408

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

Self report

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 695

You deserved it 8 756

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 881

You deserved it 6 519

Inappropriate but funny

By naughtyshirt - 22/08/2009 09:29 - Australia

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 845

You deserved it 4 502

Record breakers

By fatmom - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Royal Tunbridge Wells

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 581

You deserved it 21 556

Just in case

By DesperateMother - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - France - Wasselonne

Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 220

You deserved it 1 153

Trauma for life

By he's still not convinced - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 908

You deserved it 3 620

Bad boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 268

You deserved it 5 297

Manhunt

By toad - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 671

You deserved it 6 287

Secret

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 023

You deserved it 2 884

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 852

You deserved it 3 407

delude 26

Monday 2 April 2018 19:34

Coming soon to theatres near you

Demon_of_Light 27

Monday 2 April 2018 19:59

I'd recommend moving.

Comments

millsjoshua949 12

Thursday 3 September 2020 0:52

Your 5 year old son writes that well? That's amazing.

EricW 4

Friday 12 January 2024 23:43

Your kid can write aged 5. congratulations!

Keywords

Kids Art Birthday Covid Health Relatable Transportation Awkward Cars Love Poopoo peepee Gross Family Sex Intimacy Neighbours Lonely Dreams Work Management Jealousy Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Abuse Parents Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic

The Top

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job, and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said, "How would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 864

You deserved it 4 026

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 638

You deserved it 19 265

The Top

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 814

You deserved it 2 856

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 593

You deserved it 7 452

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 191

You deserved it 44 923

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 442

You deserved it 3 960

Today, my fiancé thinks that the only reason I innocently asked him how soon he wants to have kids after we get married is that he thinks I'm racing to beat a friend or family member. Now I can't even be excited about starting a family with this man without having ulterior motives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 239

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 773

You deserved it 6 499

Same thing different taste

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