Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML
Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML
Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML
Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
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Top comments
VictoriaSchultz 8
Sounds like his own problem
kings1fan 6
At least he gave you a heads up
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Comments (103)
shahroni1 3
shitty guy
BubbleGrunge 18
So? I think someone needs to get over themselves. Just because he sits by you everyday doesn't mean he wants you. I'm a college student and the majority of us stay in the same seat since the beginning of semester just because it's easy. If this is the most FML part of your day, can you tell me your secret because I'm pretty sure I can top that and I haven't been up long.
redbluegreen 41
And how does that make you feel?
EliseLuvsYew 0
Today, my best friend told me I'm "not happy for her and her girlfriend" and that I'm "homophobic". I've been in love with her and am also a lesbian. FML
Nighthawk143420 8
Hahahaha people are so weird..
perdix 31
Tell him in a sexy voice, "Don't go. It would be such a turn-on for you to poop your pants." After he does that, he'll say, "Did it! Now do you want to go out with me?" Then, you yell, "Psych!"
gracehi 33
I don't see why everyone seems to think "creepy guy's" behavior was normal. There's no need to tell the person next to you that you may need to use the bathroom or why. You just get up, walk out, and go. Happens all the time. Him telling her that was likely more distracting than if he left silently.
gader 3
That is a hunt means; follow me bit**
Katielovesyouu 4
That's really not that bad. Unless he went to the bathroom in front of you...????
tippy_pink89 2
Maybe she sits near the end and he has to move over her seat to get to the door so he's warning her in advance.