Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML
Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML
Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML
Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
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Top comments
VictoriaSchultz 8
Sounds like his own problem
kings1fan 6
At least he gave you a heads up
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Comments (103)
marscm55 11
Maybe he thought you were cute but the words came out of his mouth wrong?
Hidur 10
That's a case of verbal diarrhea in more ways than one it seems
LennyComa 39
He just wants to share his pain...after all a problem shared is a,problem halved
Driveshaft 5
So the "creepy" guy in your college level class , who sits beside you every day, tells you something personal. Which will actually impact you if he has to get up during the class. Get over yourself, and grow up.
rizzybear 4
Doesn't matter, took a shit.
Jannettecooks 1
He was letting you know that he might disturb you during class. Not really sure what the FML is. He was trying to be polite. Time to grow up OP!
rubberduckie94 13
I suppose a classy person such as yourself would rather he did not talk to you and jump up at the last possible second pooping or throwing up on you. Yep, anything to keep the "creepy guy" from talking to you.
porcupineattack1 5
At least he didnt ask you to come supervise.
truehitman2010 0
how is this an fml? boo hoo he dosent feel well so your life is ******.
Chad_the_Brony 0
Hey sounds very wise. Become an apprentice, you must.
Schiffy 18
Well, I bet you were.... *sunglasses* Psyched out.
Just_ol_Kole 0
That would have been 10 times more epic of that were a.... *sunglasses* Real expression.