Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML
Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML
Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML
Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
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Top comments
VictoriaSchultz 8
Sounds like his own problem
kings1fan 6
At least he gave you a heads up
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Comments (103)
Blueglasscup 18
Like I said 2 fmls before... Do the creep haaa do the creep.
br0ccoli 15
Switch seats. Problem solved.
wildsweetchild 19
Maybe it's his way of saying "if i fart, it's not intentional".
menacingsprite 3
That's exactly what I was thinking.
derkster 6
That's TMI right there lelel
KeyboardWarrior 10
Uhh... What?
Scarlettkiss 8
Take my life? I really dont know...just guessing
PYLrulz 17
Too Much Information
silvertread 2
Am i the only one who doesn't see an fml moment in this fml? Big deal, the guy needed to take a crap.
jtthegr8 26
The new fml posts just haven't even been fml moments lately, maybe like 2-4 out of the last 20
Birdie_Sage 0
Move to a different seat, if you can. Why does he lean close to you like that? Don't you have any guts to tell him to get off you? You're allowing yourself to be touched. He's getting way too comfortable. Punch him in the stomach.
PYLrulz 17
TMI, and I don't mean the nuclear power plant
WaSiSimiLang 8
Indirectly quoting peter parker (not word for word), "could you please go back to the part where it is my problem?" and then kick him out of class
rubberduckie94 13
Yeah it worked so good for Peter Parker. His uncle did not die or anything.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Oh yeah? What's the worst he could do? Shit on me? ---pondering pause--- ---spread palms out facing the guy and slowly backs off---
Enslaved 38
I once scanned one of those books and read "The best way to get over an old boyfriend, is to get a new one." Saved myself 30 bucks not buying it.
Enslaved 38
Oops! Posted wrong spot. :P
perdix 31
I just commented on the "right" story and part of it was what you just said. What a coincidence!
Enslaved 38
Holy Hell, perdix! Thank goodness it was only "part"! Lol
person961 9
Run. Run as fast as you can, it can only get worse
person961 9
I meant that if he isn't feeling well, you should move away from him