Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after buying a new pair of prescription glasses, I went to the beach. The ocean now has a new pair of glasses. FML
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I opened my new contact lenses for the first time in a month and accidentally dropped one, only to watch it disappear helplessly down the drain. Give a name to the situation. FML
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
Today, I went to a theme park with my friends. I was excited to ride the rollercoasters, but just as we were about to get on the biggest one, I realized I'd had left my glasses in the car. I can't see shit without them, but I decided to go on the ride anyway. I spent the entire time screaming in terror while my friends laughed, while I couldn't see a thing. FML
Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML
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Top comments
feven 32
Did you try to get it back? If not at least the sharks will see a little more clearly now.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
I would advise leaving them there.
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Comments (112)
Jazz_Funkington 1
Welcome to Newport Aquarium, I can't say it hasn't happened to me.
bumblebeesmommy 5
How did you see to post on FML? Did you retrieve them from a worker?
ZorroRooster 19
Man up (or in this case woman up?), jump in, and get your glasses back. A shark charges you? Punch it on the nose.
bryanjamieluke 17
Were you by chance at See World?
dragonf1y 6
Give her a cake with a file in it.
ruthi666 23
Although it'd be silly and you would get arrested, if you dove in after the glasses the sharks would likely not even react to your presence because aquarium sharks are fed regularly on a schedule so that they don't feel the need to attack the other fish that are in the tank with them and traumatize whomever may be watching. Of course, this depends on what kinds of sharks you're talking about. A tiger shark reacts very differently than a nurse shark.
slyde32 12
one of the aquariums I was at had bull sharks, you could imagine my shock when I turned my head to see what was staring at me while I was in the water, luckily he was on the other side of a huge perspex screen, so I resumed following the hammer head around for a bit
NoNamedGuy 9
I don't know how you did manage that. i wear glasses since i'm 4 and i can shake my head as hard as i want, but my glasses always stay perfect where they should
claudia19801811 14
Can't you feel when they are loose and sliding off?
abc_1_2_3 12
Hey OP, your not supposed to feed the sharks!!
silverkaast 9
you're*
DeadPixel4 29
I thought you were going to say that you fell in.