Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after buying a new pair of prescription glasses, I went to the beach. The ocean now has a new pair of glasses. FML
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I opened my new contact lenses for the first time in a month and accidentally dropped one, only to watch it disappear helplessly down the drain. Give a name to the situation. FML
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
Today, I went to a theme park with my friends. I was excited to ride the rollercoasters, but just as we were about to get on the biggest one, I realized I'd had left my glasses in the car. I can't see shit without them, but I decided to go on the ride anyway. I spent the entire time screaming in terror while my friends laughed, while I couldn't see a thing. FML
Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML
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Top comments
feven 32
Did you try to get it back? If not at least the sharks will see a little more clearly now.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
I would advise leaving them there.
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Comments (112)
cchan034 23
When i read this the first time i thought u were the one that fell in
RANDALL4801 11
I see your point now.
tuckmyster99 3
how the **** do people think u deserve that ****** asswholes I'm sorry man that shitty
idancewithllamas 12
At least you didn't fall in along with your glasses.
tman1985 9
Did they at least have laser beams attached to their freakin' heads? Every species deserves a hot meal
slutfactory 17
You may have helped a near-sighted shark.
sexual_girl 15
That doesn't mean that your glasses need to be adjusted. Glasses are rarely super snug on your face, you should have known better than to lean so far over the railing. I used to have glasses (I wear contacts now) and if I was going to look over a railing or such, I would hold onto them or take them off.
Vegetarian27 24
*Sank. "Sunk" is used after has, had etc.
DenBriZel 31
hopefully they weren't Oakleys..
Mernfern 7
I know how you feel. I leaned out of a high rollercoaster and I could practically hear my glasses snap onto the concrete...(｡ŏ_ŏ)