Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
sarah6786
| 14
Next time when you wake up roll over and say "good morning sexy" to your vibrator.
By
chelsearenaeee
| 16
Turtles can be pretty cute.
COMMENTS
By
sarah6786
| 14
Next time when you wake up roll over and say "good morning sexy" to your vibrator.
Reply
fuckmahteeth
| 4
or be like you were amazing last night...vibrator ;)
Reply
jonn090
| 13
I say that to my crack. Fun times , fun times....
By
chelsearenaeee
| 16
Turtles can be pretty cute.
Reply
Success4444
| 12
If he makes breakfast for the turtle instead of you, you'll know it's time to be worried.
Reply
zandalee
| 19
...or tries to have sex with it...
Reply
garrett1999o3
| 16
I need to get up early for FML's. Because you guys always steal the best jokes. ;_;
By
Kal3Y
| 12
That must be a gorgeous turtle he has there.
By
buddy51
| 23
OP- good you saved yourself the mortification of having your reptile-loving turtle-humping husband confirm his true love is his teeny turtle. No accounting for some people's tastes, OP. Better you know know and move on than that you stay and play third wheel to a terrapin!
Reply
hotPinklipstick
| 24
I normally don't comment crap like this, but, this confused the fuck out of me. I've reread this like 10 times and I can't comprehend what #5 is trying to say. Can anyone else decipher this?
Reply
Catkam623
| 27
I think he misread the fml and somehow thought that the ops husband has a turtle fetish, while it may be true he prefers the turtle to op that doesn't mean he wants to fuck the turtle
Reply
buddy51
| 23
Doesn't mean he doesn't want to either.
And it does mean he's more loving to his turtle than to OP...
That sound good to you?
I suggest OP cut her losses and leave reptile boy...
And it does mean he's more loving to his turtle than to OP...
That sound good to you?
I suggest OP cut her losses and leave reptile boy...
By
mrpotatohead36
| 7
Well turtles are pretty damn beautiful!
Reply
dmoran20
| 27
Specially in soup, nothing like veggies and turtle to start your morning off, with the exception of smoked wild pig... Mmmm memories :-/
By
dramaelf
| 37
To be fair, turtles are pretty awesome.
Reply
Interwebzombie
| 15
Especially the ones that wear ninja mask.
Reply
warsun
| 27
And with swords and nunchucks
By
perdix
| 29
Maybe you need to come out of your shell.
By
derpies
| 12
Is your husbands nickname "crab man"?
Reply
ironichalibut
| 24
"Hey Earl" :D
"Hey Crab-Man."
"Hey Crab-Man."
Reply
carmel1110
| 12
No one beats mr.turtle
By
Reaper1984
| 13
It sounds like he's one of those who once he has you he lays off the affection...... sorry OP and good luck
By
buckdharma
| 36
Oh snap Joy, your identity has been blown again. Tell the Crabman and Mr. Turtle, I said hey.