Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
Today, at work as a bank teller, an angry customer complained that the payments on his two credit cards had been messed up the previous month, with the wrong amount being credited to each account. I asked if he knew who'd helped him. He said, "Well, it wasn't you - she was younger and prettier!" FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
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Top comments
Dragon9597 6
That is amazing, and terrible at the same time.
forsaken_ones 9
I would have laughed too if i were in your shoes
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Comments (120)
brandoneyez1 25
Oh poor old man. Give him a pass it's funny. I'm sure he had a bright personality.
tanekdrachonae 19
@1 A white horse fell in the mud. It was such a dirty mare.
kingdomgirl94 29
I have to keep a straight face when I tell customers "When you insert it, you have to be firm" cause our card reader is old. No combination of any other words makes it better. Just stick to your guns OP and keep a straight face.
Chezzlova 5
Haha, sounds like a great man.
mister_icicle 17
If you open the door, they'll walk right in. ;-)
False_Stupidity 41
Epic win by the old man. His body might have slowed a little but his mind and wit are still quick. You asked for that one OP so it's YDI, but in a good way.
colecarter68 3
Lighten Up. This Oldman is obviously the oldest comedian alive, and you should treat him with respect.
ImRJ 7
Or maybe you were actually talking dirty to him. naughty girl. lol
mkayden 23
*brings out the saxophone*
monkeylover24 6
I'm no I'm going to get thumbs down but if that happen to me I wouldn't be FML I would laugh can somebody please explain why this is FML