Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
Today, at work as a bank teller, an angry customer complained that the payments on his two credit cards had been messed up the previous month, with the wrong amount being credited to each account. I asked if he knew who'd helped him. He said, "Well, it wasn't you - she was younger and prettier!" FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
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Top comments
Dragon9597 6
That is amazing, and terrible at the same time.
forsaken_ones 9
I would have laughed too if i were in your shoes
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Comments (120)
momac86 17
Hey come on that's not so bad I'd've laughed too
caro1ina48 13
How is this an FML?
elusiveshame 22
Old people say the darnedest things. At least he had a sense of humor and hopefully you do as well!
jaamjaam 6
Can he be my grandpa?
kalbrek009 20
Not sure if anyone else has said it, so..."that's what she said"
Jtisallbusiness 5
Sounds like a good story line to a porno
okudatwo 11
That's absolutely hilarious. Old man victory.
polarbearpiss 15
Youre picture is creepah
VanessaNal 13
I would've laughed. I love it when I have customers who are lighthearted and make jokes. Makes my whole day A LOT better. :)
Realhomesley 5
I would've been rolling