Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
Today, someone sent a dick pic to my 16-year-old, lesbian daughter. She handed me her phone and asked, "What is that, a naked mole rat?" FML
Today, I was looking at the page of a girl I've had this big crush on for a long time. After getting a date with her and taking her horse back riding and having a picture taken of the two of us I find that she paint shopped me out of the picture before posting it. FML
Today, my husband and our 4-year-old daughter were watching My Little Pony. When her favorite character angrily screamed, "You're going to love me!", she looked at him with a perplexed look. My husband then responded, "And THAT'S how I met your mommy!" FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML
Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML
Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML
Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML
Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML
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Top comments
thefailgurl96 11
Pretty little pony penis.
283leis 8
Yes animals have dicks too. I don't see the big problem.
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Comments (71)
ariaofdoom 16
Well when male horses urinate or are super relaxed their penises come out. Doesn't matter if they're castrated or not. I guess I understand why OPs mom zeroed in on it though, they're rather surprising if you aren't very familiar with horses.
ravenh1979 13
Lol
ravenh1979 13
I took my kids to the zoo once, and they wanted to see the monkeys.. Yeah guess what the monkeys were doing.. Try to explain that to a 5 year old. Luckily my 1 year old was too young to notice.
DjeePee 25
Euhm... Maybe it's because I don't have kids, but why don't you just say that they were having sex - in a way that's appropriate for five-year-olds? 'Mommy and daddy monkey are making baby monkeys.' That way you can learn your kids about sex and contraception step by step, instead of giving an awkward sex-talk when your kids are in the phase that they don't want to talk to you about sex.
SuperDerp 8
Holy shit! I think i was the guy leading the pony around, and i was definatley trying to not attract attention to it... Whoops.
MrBoredomioo 18
Seems legit
mosquito19 14
duh, pony don't wear pants
weallfml 3
Pics or it didnt happen
stitesy29 18
Be carefull!
donut_gurl 8
wait your mad because a horse has a penis? ummm what? relax.
crazydazy 1
You could always crop the picture
DerMarktradikale 13
Oh my goodness! A PENIS on a picture! Can somebody PLEASE think of the children???