Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom trying to unclog my constipated ass when my cat pushed the door open and walked in. She sat and stared at me for a good 10 minutes. Then, as if she had seen enough, she started loudly meowing for no reason. It was like she was judging me for reading a book she didn't approve of. FML
Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML
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Top comments
Andatop 16
Sounds like your dad has a guilty conscious
carolyn_m 19
How does a cat moan sound the same to a human moan? That's what I want to know
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Comments (51)
WasabiG 11
One time I was using the family computer and I was watching the double rainbow video where the guy was admiring the rainbow and moaning with joy....yeah, my mom thought I was watching ****
failalltheway 22
Why have you been having sex with your cat?
saucybugger101 33
How a cats moan sounds so similar to a human moan I'll never know....
nmlutgen 11
Your dad watches some weird ****