Intimacy, Airplanes and Wanker: Caught

Caught

By luckoftheirish - 18/07/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that masturbating on an airplane isn't frowned upon like they say in the movie 'The Hangover'. It's actually illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 2 961

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Thomas - 20/09/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 275

You deserved it 3 450

By Flyier - 30/09/2017 04:30

Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 969

You deserved it 300

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 01:28 - Canada

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 965

You deserved it 3 983

By anonymouse - 09/03/2011 19:37 - Reserved

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 912

You deserved it 42 621

Nice to know

By Gemma - 06/01/2012 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 742

You deserved it 3 080

By Jumanji - 12/12/2008 06:05 - France

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 008

You deserved it 12 096

Next, on The Jerry Springer Show…

By DearLord - 03/04/2020 23:00 - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 182

By GeorgiaBOYY - 04/01/2010 17:40 - United States

Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 171

You deserved it 8 206

By Anonymous - 04/12/2014 19:33 - United States

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 624

You deserved it 3 314

Creeped out

By boardman - 25/05/2009 02:17 - United States

Today, I found out my parents joined the mile-high club. While I was on the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 478

You deserved it 4 975

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 18 July 2021 13:29

No shit, Sherlock. What made you think that was a good idea?

mike3775 35

Sunday 18 July 2021 14:03

I’m so glad I grew up in an era where common sense prevailed

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 18 July 2021 13:29

No shit, Sherlock. What made you think that was a good idea?

mike3775 35

Sunday 18 July 2021 14:03

I’m so glad I grew up in an era where common sense prevailed

cacheson 41

Monday 19 July 2021 4:54

I hope this is sarcasm because you absolutely did not lol

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 18 July 2021 16:41

"It must be true! I saw it in a movie!" Dumbass...

rogue92 6

Sunday 18 July 2021 20:36

Don't touch yourself outside of your own home.

cacheson 41

Monday 19 July 2021 4:55

Unless it’s a hotel room that’s booked in your name.

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 20 July 2021 5:23

Or any place sexual activity is allowed, really.

EBrogen 12

Sunday 18 July 2021 20:53

Everyone else's life sucks for having to put up with people like you. You actually deserve everything that happens from the situation.

Sady_Ct 37

Sunday 18 July 2021 22:38

Did you find out the hard way or the easy way?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 23 July 2021 14:18

I'm guessing it was the hard way. Or at least the semi-hard way.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Coworkers Awkward Work Politics School Education Sleep Love Annoying Kids YouTube Miscellaneous Shopping Parents Transportation Ironic Jealousy Party Music Birthday Intimacy Sex Social Media Scary Gun control Dogs Family Babies Technology Relationship advice

The Top

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 347

You deserved it 4 008

Today, I have a painful abscess with a bacterial infection near my bum that makes sitting or walking difficult, and a fever too due to it. The doctor gave me sick note and told me to rest, but my husband shouted at me for taking sick off when I "only" WFH. He also expects me to do house chores the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 73

The Top

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 454

You deserved it 4 980

Today, I asked my 18 year-old daughter to buy half a dozen donuts. When she brought them over, I opened the box and discovered the dozen donuts were all cut in half. She just got accepted into a prestigious private university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 328

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 559

You deserved it 5 662

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with an old friend from college, who has totally turned into a hot MILF after marriage. Of course the date was pre-planned with some steamy sex at my place. However, last night her husband found out about her affair with her neighbour and now she can’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 776

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 769

You deserved it 89 653

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 059

You deserved it 1 900

Caught

Same thing different taste

Nice to know

Next, on The Jerry Springer Show…

Creeped out

Top comments

Comments