Annoying, Facebook, Parents and Social Media: Buzz off

Buzz off

By Anonymous - 22/11/2021 16:59

Today, my mother is mad at me for deleting my Facebook account. I actually deleted the account because I'd had enough of putting up with her criticizing comments on every Facebook post I made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 67

Annoying Facebook Parents Social Media

Mama's boy

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2013 07:18 - United States - American Canyon

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 605

You deserved it 7 369

By Inkabadger - 20/11/2009 18:41 - Canada

Today, since we hadn't been romantic for a long time, I shaved, took a bath, cut my hair and snuggled up to my husband in bed. He got up, went to the computer, masturbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 916

You deserved it 4 057

Leave spiders alone

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 01:01 - United States - Atoka

Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 1 770

By Nickname - 27/08/2018 06:00

Today, I came home to find my wife and my ex-wife naked in my bed. Apparently they've been in a relationship for five months. When I told my kids, they said that they were helping to keep the secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 337

You deserved it 258

By scaredtosleep - 24/09/2009 09:50 - United Kingdom

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 752

You deserved it 2 899

By BrokenAndHurt - 24/05/2016 12:28 - United States - Gilmanton

Today, my best friend decided to make some life changes. He got a new job, a new car, and asked me to move out of our apartment. We're 1,500 miles away from my hometown. I only moved all the way out here to live with him in the first place because he asked me to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 759

You deserved it 1 414

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 00:32 - United States

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 583

You deserved it 6 797

Supportive

By fuckthepopo - 21/01/2012 02:31 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 759

You deserved it 6 446

By ForeverAlone - 06/03/2013 22:28 - United States - O Fallon

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 854

You deserved it 2 789

By Anonymous - 29/04/2011 12:53 - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend of nearly two years broke up with me because he's sick of me being annoyed at him. Why am I annoyed at him? Because he wants to go and spend a week with his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 481

You deserved it 5 296

By postop - 26/06/2015 03:06 - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I just woke up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 763

You deserved it 2 021

By Bald - 21/10/2014 15:41 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 641

You deserved it 3 449

By manda8484 - 01/11/2016 05:12 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I've been crushing on for a while. When he dropped me off, I said thank you and that we should do it again sometime. He replied, "Yeah, maybe next Halloween." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 703

You deserved it 792

By -.- - 20/09/2013 23:58 - United States - Lakeside

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 441

You deserved it 2 876

Thanks, I hate it

By Matt L. - 30/07/2020 14:02

Today, my car insurance called about "the car I hit" on Monday night. Monday, I'd gone to the girl I’ve been seeing for a month's house for chicken parm and to meet her parents. I parked on the street. Her dad ran into the back of my car, leaving a dent. I never got the chicken parm either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 123

By French - 04/05/2011 17:29 - Switzerland

Today, my boss told me I'm not working hard enough because I take French classes two mornings a week and therefore I won't be getting a promotion. If I want the promotion I have to stop taking my French classes. These are the same French classes I was told I originally needed for the promotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 922

You deserved it 2 970

By Anonymous - 29/03/2014 03:02 - Canada - Rosthern

Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 156

You deserved it 4 134

By Anonymous - 28/08/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 134

You deserved it 3 254

By anona - 08/07/2014 16:29 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 182

You deserved it 65 049

By brodinn - 11/04/2014 13:48 - United States - Florence

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 255

You deserved it 5 848

By Username - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 841

You deserved it 6 316

By ItWasOurAnniversary - 28/09/2016 12:08 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 332

You deserved it 2 452

By jking2z - 13/03/2015 22:39 - United States

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 340

You deserved it 19 596

By GaveAnInchTakeAMile - 11/05/2013 09:52 - United States

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 509

You deserved it 5 833

By bandcamp926 - 05/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 317

You deserved it 22 624

By prego - 13/04/2012 14:15 - United States - Sterling Heights

Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 344

You deserved it 3 305

By S3R1AL K1LL3R X - 19/10/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 296

You deserved it 4 479

By seriously? - 25/02/2009 22:05 - United States

Today, the guy I like told me in casual conversation that I shouldn't get mad at him if he makes out with other girls at the bar, he only does it when he's drunk, that he doesn't really like them. We've been sleeping together for a week now. He met me at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 234

You deserved it 35 390

By LegInPieces - 17/10/2013 16:34 - United States - Redmond

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 825

You deserved it 3 825

By welp - 27/12/2015 05:08 - United States - Grass Lake

Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 453

You deserved it 1 341

By phonesnshit - 29/05/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 143

You deserved it 3 476

By Dulok Warrior Princess - 10/09/2018 19:30 - United States - New York

Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 371

You deserved it 715

Dog people

By peta eata - 02/08/2021 13:01 - United States

Today, a crazed woman started screaming at me at the dog park. She was saying that I was cruel and unfit to be a pet owner, and she ought to kick my ass. My dog's ears and tail were cropped before I even got him. He’s a rescue and came to me like this. She wouldn’t listen and followed me to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 45

By familyhatesme - 18/07/2014 16:30 - United States - Kingston

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 7 889

By Florida_1827 - 28/01/2011 10:54 - United States

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 791

You deserved it 4 509

By Geewizz - 05/04/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 372

You deserved it 4 692

By screw life - 01/10/2012 11:35 - United States

Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 632

You deserved it 3 039

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 07:04 - United States

Today, I was at a house delivering pizza. As I walked away, I heard the mom mutter to her child, "That's why you go to college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 755

You deserved it 6 188

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 697

You deserved it 52 952

By Anonymous - 10/10/2010 04:29 - United States

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 439

You deserved it 13 839

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Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Monday 22 November 2021 18:46

And now she's criticizing you for leaving the forum where she could criticize you in front of your Meta-friends? Am I surprised? I hope your mom has an FML account so she can criticize your post here.

Chazzster 22

Send a private message

Wednesday 24 November 2021 2:51

Toxic Mom! Unfortunately you cannot fix her. You were smart to avoid the issue by shutting down your Facebook account. If you are willing to put in extra effort consider this: If you live at home you could do what some kids do - Have two Facebook accounts. It just takes two email address and don’t use your picture on the hidden profile page (maybe use a picture of something you like or a hobby). Then toxic Mom can have her vanity page where you occasionally post pictures of things she wants to see you doing. And you can have your private Facebook page for your real friends. Just don’t mix the two and don’t friend anyone on both identities - and set your posts as private, only friends see. I’m pretty sure my daughter and one or more of my grandchildren have done this - And to be honest I appreciate the effort.