Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from Bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
skittles73 14
What kind of **** do you watch?
kells1124 14
at least she didn't know what it actually was!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
kells1124 14
at least she didn't know what it actually was!
mds9986 24
A few years from now she'll realize it. She probably won't say anything, but she'll know.
PhinIt2WinIt 24
that's if she remembers. But the OP was lucky it wasn't somebody else. question is how old is their sister and friend?
JMichael 26
Am I the only one curious about what the hell he was watching that it sounded like dinosaurs?
bulletsinthewind 21
Hopefully she doesn't embarrass him when she realizes what it was in a couple of years
shadowshalf 8
it was pony ****
mswhatever 18
How old is your sister? That is super sad. Maybe invest in some headphones?
PurpleMyth 28
They were obviously using headphones #2. It was the Bluetooth that made the sound come out of speakers elsewhere in the house
enginsteve 17
Never ever never FAP with headphones. You need to be aware of your surroundings. if you're using headphones you never know if somebody is walking in, creeping down the hallway, or if there's an earthquake going on a tornado or hurricane. You need to have your wits about you and be alert!
Marcelb 17
#18 Dude, DJ-headphones. You can have one speaker on your ear and put the other one behind your other ear. :)
funkypenguin 7
#18 Or you know... earphones. One in one out.
PePziNL 20
Or you know... no earphones and make 100% sure you're home alone. Or blast that shit at full volume like you don't give a ****.
tranced_ 45
mute!
clemsi 20
If your going to mute **** you might as well buy a playboy.
glassmatador 14
Two words for you... motion picture
skittles73 14
What kind of **** do you watch?
tranced_ 45
Probably jurassexxx park!
sstahpp 33
Well dinosaurs are cool again lately.
Fmlsea 28
that's what i was thinking . but im guessing op just sounds like a dying dinasouar when he's jacking off.
seriouslysmashd 11
It's comments like these that man created the Internet for!
DasKonigsEnde 9
Dinosaur **** obviously
DorkusDemitrius 9
The Cretaceous kind ?
SouL_WraitH 12
finally someone is asking important questions.....
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Tyrannosaurus sex
Drakone 9
What's with so many people having such issues with blue tooth. . .
MakeTodayADTR 20
Jurassic Park: Indominus Sex
Wolfipoo 31
Why do I feel like someone has made a crappy **** movie about the that?
Hyenayena 27
Wait And see. There's a **** parody of everything. Nothing is sacred anymore
sirhavok747 4
This is why I don't understand why people always have their phone's Bluetooth turned on.
rlak111 19
I bet that was a hard situation
sstahpp 33
Stop.
nfedrichy 20
Sstahpp
ukeandfoodislife 19
how old was she? good think she didn't know what it actually was or you would have to deal with a little more than shame
UhHuhHoney 20
Lol wow