Intimacy: Bored - FML

Bored

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 11:44 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 437

You deserved it 7 278

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Same thing different taste

Time to shop

By Anon - 24/03/2021 00:30

Spicy

Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 474

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 415

You deserved it 5 006

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 14:00 - United States - Altoona

Spicy

Today, after my girlfriend had said she was cooking surprise dinner for me this week, the crazy thing is I came home early from work and the surprise dinner was she was eating some dude's cock and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 117

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 840

You deserved it 7 624

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 205

You deserved it 4 861

A man without a plan

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 16:30

Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 857

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Spicy

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 924

You deserved it 10 087

By Ouch - 14/07/2009 02:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 597

You deserved it 15 542

Right place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 22/01/2009 16:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 216

You deserved it 29 868

Next

Top comments

tinker9107 1

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:20

Was it that boring ?

thisisafunnyname 12

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:39

Maybe instead of "get out more" you should say "get it in more"

Comments

perdix 29

Sunday 22 January 2012 22:19

Cocktail weenies not satisfying you? You ought to boil a kielbasa or a bratwurst, but two pickled eggs at one end, all on a bed of blackened alfalfa sprouts. Put mayonnaise on top. That will fill you right up!

msjoyfull84 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 22:23

Fmls like this make me thankful for my man!!

xxsilentxheartxx 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 22:46

Ahahah! Jenna Marbles

helpme37 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:11

I don't agree ur life sucks I agree it sex life sucks if ur thinking about dinner!!! So sorry for you

LateandGreat 11

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:15

Its strange how a lot of people are just assuming outright that the OP is a woman.

Strwbry3Shortcke 8

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:20

I know everyone already said it but: Jenna Marbles! HAHA! That sucks though, try cosmopolitan.com, they've got some great articles on sex and relationships to spice up your life in the bedroom!

mosquito19 14

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:22

you eat too much. loose some weight

Broncasaurus 4

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:22

You must be the perfect woman

sandinthewaves 5

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:25

That's actually a problem a lot of people have no matter how good the sex is.

Shayton 12

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:51

Bacon!

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The Top

The Top

Today, my girlfriend is fucking somebody else and she thinks I don't know. I'm too afraid to lose her, so I haven't told her that I know. I'm not sure why I'm not ready to let her go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 746

Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 395

You deserved it 7 014

Today, I got the hiccups at work no fewer than ten times in a row. I'm a cashier and not allowed to leave to go get water. Not only that, but I was called into the office to discuss my “drinking problem.” I don’t drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 52

Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part is that I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 403

You deserved it 2 809

Today, I gave my nephew a toy car as a gift. He opened it, looked at it for two seconds, and then spent the next hour playing with the cardboard box it came in. Apparently, I could’ve saved $20 and just bought him a box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 122

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 103

You deserved it 30 156