Intimacy: Bored - FML

Bored

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 11:44 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 398

You deserved it 7 266

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Time to shop

By Anon - 24/03/2021 00:30

Spicy

Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 449

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 243

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 379

You deserved it 4 983

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 790

You deserved it 7 616

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 169

You deserved it 4 849

A man without a plan

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 16:30

Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 820

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Spicy

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 900

You deserved it 10 071

By Ouch - 14/07/2009 02:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 557

You deserved it 15 519

Right place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 22/01/2009 16:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 209

You deserved it 29 823

Barf

By Danielle - 25/10/2020 11:02

Spicy

Today, I threw up during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 188

Next

Top comments

tinker9107 1

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:20

Was it that boring ?

thisisafunnyname 12

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:39

Maybe instead of "get out more" you should say "get it in more"

Comments

43trauts 14

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:26

There's an endless array of sexual jokes that can be made here.

43trauts 14

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:28

Sausage tacos covered in bacon and gravy?

silentbutfunny 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:30

Fish?

jose1760 1

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:31

Oh... I think I'll make tuna for Ohhhh!

ICATiger 13

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:32

Dinner turn you on don't they.

maryam8869 7

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:32

Must have been a tasty sex

cysanleigh 13

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:33

Well, at least your not counting the bumps of spackling on your ceiling. You can at least say it was some what productive. We all want a good dinner right?

MikeDa1Da 14

Sunday 22 January 2012 21:20

You're*

Torch15 9

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:33

fish Dakotas anyone?

Torch15 9

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:35

fajitas* damn autocorrect

manatees_r_epic 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 21:47

Fish Dakotas are delicious.

sourspraykay 8

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:33

Jenna Marbles?

hotPinklipstick 24

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:58

I was thinking the same thing! Lol

MikeMikeTheAzn 3

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:34

Rice with soy bean and soy sauce. add in meat with fish and noodles. last but not least, invite an Asian.

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Keywords

Awkward Love Students Relatable Work Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats Boredom Animals Management Kids Parenting Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Facebook Jealousy

The Top

Today, I'm once again stuck on the side of the road. I was borrowing my housemate's old car and it broke down. This comes only days after my own broke down (and will take 3 weeks to repair). None of this is helping my sudden temper and mood swings that have come as a side-effect of discontinuing my anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 127

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769

You deserved it 186

Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 516

You deserved it 2 871

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 420

You deserved it 39 983

Today, I called my boss and said, "I have been awake since 3 a.m. throwing up." He replied, "Great, see you at 9." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 310

You deserved it 3 403

Today, I generously paid for my best friend to go to an event she's wanted to see her whole life. Instead of thanking me, she brought her children and made me pay for them too, complained that I hadn't chosen the seats she wanted, then blamed me when she got on the wrong train back to her hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 177

Today, my mum gave me a two-month ultimatum to get married or risk being disowned. I’m only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 73