Love, Sex, Weird and Dating: Booty-full - FML

Booty-full

By Enya - 26/07/2022 12:00

Today, the guy from college my sister set me up with told me I'm too nice to continue lying to. Turns out he's one of my sister's booty calls and she bribed him to go on a date with me so I'd stop being so miserable and depressing. Apparently he didn't want to take me out, so the bribe was she'd let him do butt stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 131

Love Sex Weird Dating

Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 26 July 2022 14:02

Take the initiative! Do surprise butt stuff on him and he'll forget all about your sister!

Brightside86 29

Tuesday 26 July 2022 17:51

Your sister literally took it in the butt to help your state of mind, sounds like an amazing person.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 26 July 2022 14:02

Take the initiative! Do surprise butt stuff on him and he'll forget all about your sister!

Brightside86 29

Tuesday 26 July 2022 17:51

Your sister literally took it in the butt to help your state of mind, sounds like an amazing person.

Plop 17

Thursday 28 July 2022 0:08

Not all heroes wear capes!

emmalou 18

Tuesday 26 July 2022 19:07

at least the intention was good 💁🏻‍♀️

emmalou 18

Tuesday 26 July 2022 19:08

you got to get out of your own funk, depression doesn't go away, you learn how to minimize it

Keywords

Love Death Break-ups Health Relatable Doctor Vegan Kids Education ACAB Cops Parents Scary Embarrassing Amazon Sex Cute Delivery Weird Gross Customers Work Toxic Pranks Insomnia Sleep Medication Public freakouts Fight Abuse

The Top

Aujourd'hui, étant étudiant en première année de médecine, je travaille jusque tard dans la nuit. Hier, mon père m'a demandé si je pouvais finir de travailler plus tôt, car "ta mère ne veut pas avoir de rapports avec moi tant que tu es debout, et je ne vais pas tenir une année, fiston". VDM

I agree, your life sucks 84 838

You deserved it 5 961

Aujourd'hui, j'appelle le service client de mon fournisseur internet car ça fait une semaine que je n'ai plus de connexion. Le premier conseiller m'a raccroché au nez, la seconde a passé son temps à essayer de me vendre des offres, et la troisième ne comprend pas où est le problème. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 3 814

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, I found out why the only business in town that operates in my chosen industry won’t hire me. Several months ago, my father antagonised the owner, bringing up my name in the process. I haven’t spoken to the man in five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 56

Today, I lost a tooth and got my jaw wired shut after my toddler managed to break my jaw by whacking me with a plastic toy. Hello at least 8 weeks of being unable to talk while only eating meals that have been thoroughly blitzed into a liquid form first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 104

Today, I’m trying to recover financially from my divorce by quickly selling my house, but my ex-wife weed-killered the word "Bastard" into the front lawn, and the woman who had put in an offer to buy withdrew her offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 144

Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 882

You deserved it 2 400

Today, my mom accused me of having an eating disorder, and I didn't correct her. Truth is, I lost weight after I went off the pill a year ago. I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom that I haven't had anyone in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 935

You deserved it 7 574

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 304

You deserved it 3 882