Big nope

By SquishFish - 10/07/2019 14:05

Today, while working as a masseur, a man requested a foot massage. This wouldn't have been an issue, had he not had at least 20 warts on his feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 927

You deserved it 144

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Volunteering gone too far

By Tattooed and Sexy - 18/06/2023 22:00

Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 209

By Anonymous - 22/12/2009 01:30 - Canada

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 057

You deserved it 4 085

Headshot!

By almyric - 02/10/2019 12:02

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 282

By RockedSystem - 22/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 478

You deserved it 5 900

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 01:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 566

You deserved it 5 402

By illjustlimpthen - 25/10/2012 02:44 - United States - Waukesha

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 507

You deserved it 1 663

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 697

You deserved it 4 014

By StickyWicket - 14/05/2019 18:00

Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 129

By Lunazel93 - 22/10/2012 04:07 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 433

You deserved it 1 915

Yeet the feet

By SalonGirl - 10/03/2009 11:55 - United States

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 609

You deserved it 7 271

Ellimac21 14

Wednesday 10 July 2019 19:31

Can FML moderators please add a "throwing up" smiley ?

alicelouise66 5

Wednesday 10 July 2019 17:38

that is just gross

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 10 July 2019 15:13

Pop ‘em like bubble wrap!

alicelouise66 5

Wednesday 10 July 2019 17:38

that is just gross

Ellimac21 14

Wednesday 10 July 2019 19:31

Can FML moderators please add a "throwing up" smiley ?

kfchicken 31

Wednesday 10 July 2019 22:57

lol they won't even add a proper voting system. you're still locked into what you first click after all these years.

nonameDE 11

Wednesday 10 July 2019 21:28

Do you charge then extra, each one ?

Kristoffer 35

Thursday 11 July 2019 5:25

If you don't like your job, quit. Problem solved.

childlessmother 16

Friday 12 July 2019 2:57

Sorry to be a bitch but warts or not it’s your job. If a 700 lb man wanted a massage you would have to massage his naked ass. 🤷‍♀️

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The Top

Today, I watched the new Fallout series, which was pretty good… except for the fact that Ella Purnell looks a lot like my ex. Now it’s 6 a.m., hours before I have to wake up, and I can't keep myself from crying. I broke up with this girl for a number of reasons which seem somewhat valid now, but I regret it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 275

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

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You deserved it 7 847

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 28 658

You deserved it 5 698

Today, the person I was driving behind put their car in reverse and backed straight into me. I was then yelled at and told, "I had my reversing lights on! Why didn't you move?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 296

You deserved it 1 759

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 191

You deserved it 1 984

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I agree, your life sucks 6 632

You deserved it 41 973

Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary. It's also the 5th anniversary of the last time he made me orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 837

You deserved it 7 400

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 914