Health: Bailed out

Bailed out

By Why's it so cold in here? - 01/02/2015 18:13 - United States

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 824

You deserved it 2 977

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Same thing different taste

By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 896

You deserved it 4 166

By WTFFAIL - 03/12/2012 05:06 - Canada - Montreal

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 571

You deserved it 8 989

By Widowmaker - 28/11/2012 18:09 - United States - Henderson

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 692

You deserved it 48 671

So, here's the thing…

By HairyBoobs - 05/11/2009 14:22 - United States

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 407

You deserved it 6 881

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 916

You deserved it 44 868

Healing

By Manatee - 11/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 819

You deserved it 9 832

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 451

You deserved it 2 648

Sliced

By Anonymous - 18/04/2023 18:00

Today, I was in a rush to get ready for work so I quickly shaved my legs. In my haste, I accidentally nicked myself in a very sensitive area and had to spend the day simmering in discomfort and checking my crotch every so often to make I wasn't bleeding through my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 258

Freak out

By Brooke - 09/08/2009 15:23 - United States

Today, my skin was turning black, and I believed I was reacting to a spider bite. I spent 4 hours waiting in an emergency room in the middle of the night, paid a $100 copay, and missed a night with my boyfriend just to have a doctor wipe dye from my brand new black jeans off with alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 937

You deserved it 57 157

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 23/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 298

Exodiafinder687 58

Monday 2 February 2015 11:03

Why did you have to rush to the hospital? Your wife could have just sucked the spider venom out.

712sash 26

Monday 2 February 2015 11:01

Well, would you rather prefer a spider bite on your penis?

Comments

xSphinx 18

Monday 2 February 2015 21:38

I bet you can't spell gullible, haha. seriously though, being in the field sucks. ytc and ntc need to burn.

Tidus0 17

Monday 2 February 2015 21:41

But wouldn't you rather your wife be concerned over these things and try look after you? What if it was a spider bite which you ignored and then it turns out the toxins shot the nerves where you couldn't get erect or anything. That affects your wife as well.

gintwinsmoore 20

Tuesday 3 February 2015 2:21

she needs to take her ass back to nursing school or give up the ghost on that one...

travellingfun 18

Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:28

Atleast you got the ingrown hair problem sorted out.

sassy2085 16

Tuesday 3 February 2015 5:38

Better safe then sorry!

kimm_xD 7

Tuesday 3 February 2015 17:51

you would think you would know if a spider bit you down there hahaha...your wife is awesome Lmfao ??

AcieMcG 21

Wednesday 4 February 2015 8:55

You're gonna wish it had been a deadly spider bite after you get that ER bill.

whynotbliss 18

Friday 6 February 2015 15:07

You got lucky! A guy I was in the field with thought he had a spider bite on his penis, turns out it was herpies. He caught his wife with another guy after he told her we would be back two days after we really were.