By MrDanito - Czech Republic - Lysa Nad Labem Today, I never thought I would see a blowjob from the perspective of the viewer, but it happened, in our open-space office. FML I agree, your life sucks 16405 You deserved it 1637 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Baraboo Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML I agree, your life sucks 31504 You deserved it 5508 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouchies - United States Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML I agree, your life sucks 33637 You deserved it 3581 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Yelp Today, I was fired from my job as a waitress, all because someone complained there was too much seasoning in their food. As I said, I'm a waitress. This happened the same week I was hired. FML I agree, your life sucks 1781 You deserved it 105 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By didntknowyoucouldbreakit - New Zealand - Auckland Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML I agree, your life sucks 8978 You deserved it 42786 195 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By svsksosnns - United States - Olympia Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with co-workers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML I agree, your life sucks 12823 You deserved it 1013 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - New Bloomfield Good boy Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML I agree, your life sucks 26361 You deserved it 20985 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML I agree, your life sucks 39697 You deserved it 3943 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ~Mr.Void - United States Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my bestfriends elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML I agree, your life sucks 11719 You deserved it 30181 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia TMI Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said, "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML I agree, your life sucks 29583 You deserved it 13442 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I washed my face and grabbed the towel to dry it, I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water. Unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML I agree, your life sucks 42427 You deserved it 3913 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By desigymrat - France Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 9480 You deserved it 42448 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML I agree, your life sucks 43018 You deserved it 5578 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tech Savvy - United States Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML I agree, your life sucks 29547 You deserved it 4923 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/5/2020 14:00 Some friends you've got there Today, I got my commissioned anime portrait done. One of my friends commented on why all my commissions are skinny look-alikes, when I'm really fat in real life and active in body positivity. Then everyone started agreeing with her, stating that if I was so happy with who I am, why my art is of me slim? FML I agree, your life sucks 713 You deserved it 1583 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Lemont Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML I agree, your life sucks 39575 You deserved it 24216 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By myleghurts - Australia - Strathfield Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML I agree, your life sucks 30338 You deserved it 3477 205 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mild banana - United States - Cedar Hill Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 11857 You deserved it 1076 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/12/2020 18:03 - South Africa - Johannesburg Clean up in aisle 5 please Today, I cleaned up the entire kitchen after sending the kids to school. I decided to have a nice cup of tea, and then knocked the tea over into the bin and the bin cabinet, the hardest and grossest thing to clean. FML I agree, your life sucks 685 You deserved it 107 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ugh - Canada Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML I agree, your life sucks 20931 You deserved it 57367 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/7/2020 02:01 Lazy comeback Today, I was doing my job and trying to teach a lazy bunch of 16-year-olds. A girl entered the room just 15 minutes before class ended, so I snapped, "Someone had better have died for you to be this late!" She immediately burst into tears. Turns out, someone had. FML I agree, your life sucks 663 You deserved it 2425 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Me - United States Today, my neighbors coated their house in flashing Christmas lights and blared out "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" all day long. Only 29 days left until Christmas. FML I agree, your life sucks 28464 You deserved it 3338 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my boyfriend's dog, which he got even though he knew I was allergic, literally got in between us while we were having sex. He didn't stop and got mad when I did. Now I'm itchy. FML I agree, your life sucks 2866 You deserved it 324 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dreamer2639 - United States Today, I exchanged numbers with this guy in the McDonald's drive-thru. When he asked why I gave him my number I told him I thought he had a nice smile. When I asked him the same question, he responded with "I just thought you had a nice rack". FML I agree, your life sucks 15475 You deserved it 47853 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonyme - France - Laill Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML I agree, your life sucks 29701 You deserved it 3452 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - United States Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML I agree, your life sucks 49174 You deserved it 4225 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fat Dad - United States Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML I agree, your life sucks 56557 You deserved it 43650 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Sheffield Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML I agree, your life sucks 50729 You deserved it 12287 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML I agree, your life sucks 30058 You deserved it 3958 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StairwayToEvan92 Today, I ran over a recently-killed skunk in the road. My truck now smells absolutely rancid, and the smell will probably last for months. At least it goes well with my dog, who was also skunked 6 weeks ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 1987 You deserved it 272 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mc2013 - United States Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML I agree, your life sucks 39858 You deserved it 4189 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PanFace - Australia Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML I agree, your life sucks 11093 You deserved it 120990 394 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Quicky5_ - United States - Jasper Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML I agree, your life sucks 31057 You deserved it 2470 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML I agree, your life sucks 27459 You deserved it 10294 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 10994 You deserved it 41892 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cooky - United Kingdom Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML I agree, your life sucks 40222 You deserved it 6707 231 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheJoker - United States Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML I agree, your life sucks 62532 You deserved it 3178 191 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scarlett_Pixie - Australia - Toowoomba Today, my partner convinced both of our little brothers that we are naming our son Obi-Wan. They now won't stop rubbing my belly and quoting Star Wars. This is going to be one long Christmas. FML I agree, your life sucks 7437 You deserved it 1052 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MissKitty Special Snowflake Kitty Today, I found out why I couldn't properly breathe nor sleep for the past 2 days. I'm allergic to the new kitty litter. This is the special litter I had to buy because my snowflake cat is allergic to all the other brands. FML I agree, your life sucks 4938 You deserved it 677 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By boned - United States Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML I agree, your life sucks 29325 You deserved it 3293 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SOMAgirl - United States Today, I thought it would be funny to put some streamers on my bike handles, even though I knew they would probably be stolen fairly quickly. I went into a restaurant to eat, and when I came out both my wheels were gone, but at least the streamers were still there. FML I agree, your life sucks 32170 You deserved it 9066 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JudgeComrade | 17 #6591439 - Thursday 28 April 2016 18:22 At least it wasn't from the perspective of the giver. Send a private message 213 5 Reply
By Magnoxidans | 19 #6591464 - Thursday 28 April 2016 18:29 That would really SUCK to walk in on. Send a private message 188 9 Reply
By JudgeComrade | 17 #6591439 - Thursday 28 April 2016 18:22 At least it wasn't from the perspective of the giver. Send a private message 213 5 Reply
Reply doraquiexplore | 13 #6591504 - Thursday 28 April 2016 19:18 Blowjobs r fun to give, killjoy Send a private message 33 6 Reply
Reply joeyl2008 | 29 #6592030 - Friday 29 April 2016 5:34 @9 damn straight Send a private message 1 1 Reply
Reply grogers311 | 20 #6592960 - Saturday 30 April 2016 6:10 Damn not straight! Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By DeadxManxWalking | 27 #6591447 - Thursday 28 April 2016 18:24 shooting a porn scene? Send a private message 39 3 Reply
By saxaddict122 | 14 #6591451 - Thursday 28 April 2016 18:25 Haha the definition of a NSFW FML, except maybe at your office! Send a private message 21 1 Reply
By stingray112 | 24 #6591459 - Thursday 28 April 2016 18:26 First time for everything Send a private message 19 1 Reply
By Magnoxidans | 19 #6591464 - Thursday 28 April 2016 18:29 That would really SUCK to walk in on. Send a private message 188 9 Reply
Reply UserError94 | 18 #6591576 - Thursday 28 April 2016 20:13 Hopefully he was quick to HEAD out. Send a private message 37 0 Reply
Reply sinisterviper | 10 #6591584 - Thursday 28 April 2016 20:19 that's going to create a LOAD of problems with the workplace. Send a private message 34 0 Reply
Reply COSaikou | 7 #6591594 - Thursday 28 April 2016 20:29 damnit..I love these puns Send a private message 14 1 Reply
Reply Dale_shackleford | 13 #6591607 - Thursday 28 April 2016 20:45 Yeah, they really BLOW me away. Send a private message 29 0 Reply
Reply atlien247 | 16 #6591862 - Friday 29 April 2016 2:23 Really? I find them hard to swallow. Send a private message 26 0 Reply
Reply PackardBell_fml | 19 #6591923 - Friday 29 April 2016 4:01 these are pretty FUCKING funny Send a private message 12 4 Reply
By TrippingOnAcid | 29 #6591479 - Thursday 28 April 2016 18:49 That's hot Send a private message 29 5 Reply
Reply tin_cup | 27 #6591606 - Thursday 28 April 2016 20:45 I totally agree! Send a private message 2 1 Reply
Reply Mysterious_one | 20 #6592726 - Saturday 30 April 2016 0:30 been there ... I was the receiver ..plus some hardcore stuff .. Send a private message 0 5 Reply
By spearcom | 13 #6591494 - Thursday 28 April 2016 19:05 Damn. That sucked for all 3 of you. Literally. Send a private message 16 2 Reply
By klirrivirri | 9 #6591505 - Thursday 28 April 2016 19:17 was it a happy ending? did you cheer? Send a private message 6 9 Reply
By JimminyCrib | 7 #6591517 - Thursday 28 April 2016 19:30 Did you call next?? Send a private message 6 4 Reply
By trucker2 | 33 #6591527 - Thursday 28 April 2016 19:40 Did you stand in line ? Send a private message 8 7 Reply
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 453 You deserved it 88 3 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 790 You deserved it 165 8 Comments