Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML
Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 29
Grams is protective of her grandchild :)
idontknowyou123 0
Bingo gets crazy somtimes... you never know if the bitch next to you will shout bingo or shank you...
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Comments (117)
iamcrazy_fml 6
gotta need a pocketknife!
icrest80 4
Ya who knows what kind of person would try to duke it out with her...
pancakerocks 1
better be swiss. never know when you need a pair of tiny sissors :)
Cad6 24
*Grandma passes through body check* *Inspectors do baggage check.* Inspectors: *urgently murmuring* Grandma: What's the hold-up? Inspectors: Err...ma'am we found a lethal weapon in your backpack. Grandma: Oh, that backpack's not mine. Inspectors: Orly? It has your name on it. Grandma: Yes, but the knife isn't mine. Inspectors: We never said anything about a knife. Grandma: *attempts to bolt for the nearest exit* Inspectors: *Tackles the grandma* Eventually they let her go, only to escort her out of the airport, noting her as "dangerous". The OP stared in horror, ashamed of what the grandma did. His only option was to go on FML, and post this tragic story.
n_epic_fail 14
She obviously needed it to fight off all the alligators you are soon to encounter.... On the airplane?
Frijolero_92 1
Wtf not even a pocket knife???
taco_bender 12
Well if she was a girl scout in her youth she can legally have a pocket knife everywhere she goes. Not sure bout the airport though. Dont think it applies.
BTSfanatic 0
81- then why mention it ?
taco_bender 12
I dont see the harm in mentioning it i guess.
Banana_Pancakes6 0
Good to know that you can just pull information straight out of your ass!
blushy 14
you never know when you might need to defend yourself
Doortje 29
Grams is protective of her grandchild :)
KingDavidJr23 1
Granny is a BOSS.
LightningCactus 12
Like a mother bear and her cub, the cub fears the mother, they both fear granny bear.
sonuskos 6
Fear the G-Unit
Denikk 0
Hey... You never know...
yahoowizard 16
Yeah, I mean, it's Florida. She can shank some guy there in a hoodie and claim self defense
KeyboardWarrior 10
Like a boss.
Strafeh 9
I get boners in the pat down line... All good man :)
Angelous505 5
Ask for a cavity search next time then lol
AlexBblah 10
Haha,
traze 7
Threesome?
NerdsWillRule 3
The terrorists are getting smarter! No one would expect an old lady!
missanderson813 4
With a grandmother's bad memory mixed with how much crap elderly women store in their purse, it was destined to happen. Did she have a peppermint in there to make you feel better?
TrippingOnAcid 29
BADMAN
KRS_13 0
*facepalm*
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
18 - your picture, is amazing, and your comment, is a win.
KRS_13 0
103- thanks, I love Death note. And well I really did facepalm myself.
idontknowyou123 0
Bingo gets crazy somtimes... you never know if the bitch next to you will shout bingo or shank you...