Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML
Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
Doortje 29
Grams is protective of her grandchild :)
idontknowyou123 0
Bingo gets crazy somtimes... you never know if the bitch next to you will shout bingo or shank you...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
missamerica95 0
Almost anything you go through security with is a "threat" these days. She probably didn't even know/remember it was in her bag.
guskaufman62 1
Granny will cut to ass up
koreyketchum 1
Your grandmother is a BAWS
sinking_fish 12
B.A.W.S.? Like...Bad Ass With Shank?
Ifrah 0
Hahaha I wonder what her FML would be :P
Spectre529 12
Why was there a pocket knife in the first place?
ladyLALAA 28
Yeah I had a pencil case with scissors and a protractor and the let me take them on. I ended up throwing them out before getting on I was so paranoid!
Calyx_fml 21
She had to distract security from finding the kilo of coke she hid in her bra.
Ifrah 0
Dude, seriously. Pervert on a granny too?
1crabbygirl 10
I hope somebody still likes me when I'm a granny!
TheFirstSamurai 18
You were only meant to find this out after your Grandma died, but I guess the secrets out. Your Grandmother's really the Leader of the Criminal Underworld that spans the whole Florida and you're next in line to inherit her criminal empire.
funnynarwals 0
I got held up once at an airport for scissors they got taken away and thrown away... They were my favorite:(
spurlock62 0
A pocket knife to your grandma is your phone to you.