Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML
Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 29
Grams is protective of her grandchild :)
idontknowyou123 0
Bingo gets crazy somtimes... you never know if the bitch next to you will shout bingo or shank you...
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Comments (117)
Tempest559 12
Your grandma is a gangster.
lissa_jade 22
my nana carries a 400 lb purse around with her... maybe our grandma's can team up?
grannygruber 6
That's as good as my mom (years ago) walking into the bank to make a withdrawal and while digging a pen from her purse laid a small handgun on the counter!
sadistmonkey 19
I understand scissors but a protractor???
silentblack 0
Grams is a gangsta. Shes Bout it bout it
flamegrilled123 3
Better than when I left a metal cap gun in my bag when I was 4 years old
laden_swallow09 34
Uhh, Gramma, this isn't the 60s, anymore.
cheesecake_36 6
Haha your grandma is G! :D
OfficeNinja 5
Oh no! A pocket knife! Airport security never sees that! Seriously, all manners of weird stuff is found at airports in luggage. Just this week a south Florida airport found two old ladies returning from Havana, Cuba with human fetuses in jars. No seriously - this happened. http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/news/2012/03/23/fetuses-discovered-in-suitcase-at-miami-airport/ They were not arrested.
1crabbygirl 10
They were very old remains of miscarried babies. You may want to google 'cultural sensitivity' or 'marianisma' and find out how people from other walks of life live. Generally speaking, most everyone *cares* about things in life more than we Americans do. But we can change that one person at a time if we aren't zombie/CSI obsessed idiots.
OfficeNinja 5
Did it ever occur to you that I might live in Miami, I might have something to do with the Miami airport, and that my wife could be a naturalized US citizen born in Nicaragua? Naaa, of course not. By the way, the article also clearly says the fetuses were about 20 weeks and miscarried. But the main issue I have is not with stone age Santeria rituals (I might also live in or close to Hialeah, the Santeria capital of the USA), it's that the ladies had a container of unknown stuff in their bags, and failed to declare it. That is illegal. It is called "smuggling". If I did the same, I could be arrested or fined - and I would most definitely not have my job anymore.
tklone329 0
Badass grandma xD lol