Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML
Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 29
Grams is protective of her grandchild :)
idontknowyou123 0
Bingo gets crazy somtimes... you never know if the bitch next to you will shout bingo or shank you...
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Comments (117)
ilovenotyou 0
Oh yeah, your grandma's bad ass(:
DirtyMike911 0
So she can say "shank you very much", obviously.
ashra_Raivyn 2
Crazy grandma it's cool mine is too. She still drag races :)
kat2812 1
that is funny and kind of cute...in a strange way. im curious as why grams had a knife with her. airport security has changed a lot in her time i guess, but has there EVER been a time it was ok to walk on a plane with a knife in your carry on?
beastiness 14
Who hasn't had this happen to them if you usually carry a pocket knife, thats happened to me a few times cause we do a lot of outdoor stuff that requires a knife and sometimes it gets left in the bag
TColby 12
The TSA is a big pile of horseshit anyway. All they're doing is stripping Americans of their rights.
WaywardDaughter 26
Penn and Teller sells metal cards with the Bill of Rights on them so that when people go through TSA they can hand them metal card and say, "Here have my rights."
KiddNYC1O 20
They're rude to airline employees as well.
Brandi_Faith 33
That... and atempting to save yours and the rest of the flying populations lives. Just a minor detail though.
MissHayleyJames 7
Oh yeah. Molesting old men in wheelchairs and little children while letting women in burkas and the long clothing through untouched so they don't violate their religious rights is totally protecting us. And yes this happened right in front of me. They didn't have to go through the full body scanner like the rest of us or get a pat down. I asked the TSA agent why and he just mumbled "religious rights". Then I had to get a pat down AFTER going through the scanner because of a few rhinestones on my shirt and get my hands tested for dangerous powder residue. Welcome to America, where we treat our citizens like criminals and let the actual potential criminals go free. No offense to Muslims, I have several Muslim friends, but there weren't any white people hijacking our planes or trying to hide bombs in shoes.
TColby 12
Sure, they may be attempting to save lives but doing so at the cost of our rights is dangerous. As Benjamin Franklin once said, "Those who are willing to give up their rights in order to obtain a little temporary safety are deserving of neither liberty nor safety."
ipwnallmen 10
*facepalm*
SpottedZebra42 14
37 - Your profile pic......*shudders*
ankoku 2
Does anyone else remember the good old days when pocket knives, toothpicks, and nail clippers weren't considered deadly weapons? I mean I'd be pretty embarrassed if someone did me in with friggen nail clippers.
ttttttyyy 0
Like a boss
GoW_Chick 14
Always be prepared it's scout code, she didn't take that oath when she was younger for nothin' you'll be thank her when you need to cut a rope or criminal